FE, FI, FO THUMB!!! I feel an argument about to COME.

My husband and I disagree on a parenting topic! UGGGGGGHHHH. Joel MADE THE CALL. No more thumb sucking for Hayden. (And my parents have chimed in as well).

But this post is not quite as specific as “to suck” or “not to suck.” lol. Thumb sucking is the issue du jour, but the main topic is what happens when we butt heads in life with those we love the most?



He just turned three!! He is still so little and I’m very proud of his own methods to self-soothe when need be. I struggle believing self-soothing may more valuable than the effects of sucking his thumb. By no means do I see other children sucking their thumb and criticize them or their parents! See, I meet people (SUCCESSFUL people) that tell me they sucked their thumb for years and no one would never be able to tell by looking at their teeth or mouth….years!! Like 9, 13, even later!). I imagine this transitions to only at night at some point. 



My husband disagrees. He firmly believes it’s time to stop. He even bought the bitter nail polish to put on his thumbs a while back, but I insisted on following directions (it says minimum age is 3). But he is now 3. We are also dealing with our son Huck’s issue with toe-walking. This one we have been on the same page about since he was 3 or 4, but since he doesn’t live with us exclusively and we co-parent with his mother, it’s harder to remedy the issue. I believe this may be why my husband is so firm about helping Hayden NOW, not waiting till it becomes a deeper-rooted issue at 6 or 7, making it harder to reverse. 

How do we move forward?

What do we do now? For those that have gone before me, how did you parent when you and your partner disagree? I feel this is a small window into the future of parenting. Therefore, it could serve us well to find our footing now. 

I am thinking I don’t want to wager in this particular battle, so it’s a bit easier for me to acquiesce and go along with the methods to stop thumb sucking. It’s proven that it can cause problems with their teeth. Everyone has a difference in opinion about when the trouble starts. Most doctors agree children need to stop before permanent teeth come in because it can interfere with the alignment, cause on overbite or affect the roof of the mouth. I don’t think he is damaging himself yet at all, but I also don’t think it’s a horrible idea for him to stop. Being in school now and putting his fingers in his mouth is not advisable. CENTRAL GERM STATION. So, this particular argument may have worked itself out already.

But what about the future? 

I want to make sure our communication is on point so we always (try, at least) to be team players with a solid front for our children to witness. I believe we have the same values, so I’m not concerned about major life decisions. But you just never know what type of little things arise that can get in the way! I try (not always easy) to see his perspective and UNDERSTAND WHY he has that point of view. 

Maybe I’m answering my own questions here. 1) Pick your battles, 2) see the other side’s perspective (even when it’s not my own) and 3) come at the issue with love (even when they don’t- lol) at time when they are receptive to hearing you! Very important!! But- Ugh. Isn’t it easier when everyone just agrees with us?!!