TAKING CHARGE OF THE EGGS

Photo by: Andrew Malnar

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I should be excited to finally do something I’ve wanted to do for over 10 years. However, sharing and being this vulnerable opens me up to criticism. But, there must be at least one other person out there feeling the way I do, and maybe now she’ll feel less alone.

THE WHAT

I am freezing my eggs!! I’ve had many doctor appointments lately that some of you have inquired about. Most were for this and one other health reason that I plan on discussing next week.

No reason to fill me in on all the reasons I should NOT freeze eggs at my geriatric age. A quick google search leaves me grim. I know the statistics. I know I have a beautiful, healthy child already and feel very blessed. I look back at him as a baby— how could I not want another one! I have such a heart for those that are longing for their first baby. I know this is a very sensitive subject.

Those of you that have visited the blog since the beginning know of this fertility and secondary infertility journey. Many of you helped me, given great advise and shared your own stories.

THE WHY

For me, I have always imagined at least two kids. Life did not end up like a fairy tale, so I am taking charge. While there are alternative ways to have children now, adoption being an excellent one, I still have a deep desire to biologically have one more, Lord willing. We’ve discussed this on the blog, so it’s no secret.

I searched and searched for anyone my age and their experience with egg freezing. I’m sure there are blogs out there outlining the whole thing at my stage in life, but I had trouble finding them.

Egg freezing is just that. You retrieve as many eggs as possible and hope they make it through the freezing and thawing process. No sperm is involved. No embryos are made and tested. So, most people freezing are single women doing this all by themselves. They want to have a baby at some point, but life is not allowing that to happen today. I had been shelling out thousands and thousands of dollars a month- like 10K some months- in lawyer fees for the divorce and restraining order, so I felt, what is one month dedicated to my family’s future? It is an huge investment if you pay out of pocket, so I understand. Seeing that number on my credit card statement is hard to process, but I have become used to it the past year. If you’re reading this and feel it is out of your reach financially, please do some research. There are options, especially if you are willing to travel. I was not in that position during my divorce and covid.

IF I COULD DO IT OVER

Ideally, I would have had children earlier, which I plan on discussing in another post. My second wish is having frozen my eggs earlier. Why didn’t I?  I ask myself this question often. I struggled with the idea I was “playing God.” Age and a better understanding of modern medicine has given me a different perspective on that.

THERE WAS STILL A CHANCE

My doctor, Dr. Carolyn Alexander, initially helped me after I lost my second baby. I miraculously had Hayden naturally and easily (so much so, I was writing pregnancy posts like THIS one), but my two pregnancies after him were different. Devastatingly, they ended in miscarriages. I talked about this some here in this post. The second miscarriage was further along than the first. I had told my family already and was almost ready to share with friends and here on the blog. My doctor determined the issue was most likely not with me or the egg. I still have a possibility of a healthy baby. It was my Jim Carey, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!” moment.

THE PREP

So, I started the freezing process. Technically, it could all be done fairly quickly, but I kept having delays. I had to get a list of things done first, namely a mammogram (very important) and frequent , various blood work to see hormone levels. I was too stressed with court dates and finances, out of town filming a movie last summer, wanted to detox my body a bit more… but the truth is, you gotta just go for it. I had an ultrasound to see how many follicles I had that month and it seemed ok to begin. There’s plenty of prep you can do if you have the time. I did not. I’m under then most amount of stress in my lifetime, so “lowering stress” seemed implausible. I still say the book IT STARTS WITH THE EGG is a great first step. I also wrote all the supplements that I have been told to take in this post here. I was told to cut caffeine to one cup a day. Limit sugar. No saunas or hot tubs or excessive workouts. Note: this all becomes more important when injections begin. I had not been going to acupuncture regularly, but began as soon as I could get an appointment. This is just what I have been told and only reflects my experience. Please consult your doctor before taking any supplements or following my lead in any way.

To be continued…I’m writing this as a series.

Part 2 : INJECTION PHASE AND EVERYTHING NO ONE TOLD ME- OH MY GOODNESS!

Part 3: THE RETRIEVAL AND EVERYTHING AFTER

xoxo Anything you want to share, I am reading every single comment.

AAJ

Fertility Update

Hayden at 2 weeks. How is he about to start PRE-School?

Hey ya’ll, it’s been a while since I discussed anything about fertility in your 40s, specifically my fertility journey. After reading comments in my post HERE, and the post HERE, I learned a lot about some of YOU that are in a similar boat. I have been thinking about you all, wondering how it’s going??

As most of you know, I started using the ovulation sticks (that I talked about HERE). That was/is helpful for sure, but I know it takes more time at my age.  I read from several of you that took fertility medications successfully.

I asked my doctor about clomid. I took that for three months in a row, along with a hGC shot before ovulation. And….nothing. 

I went back and looked at the comments here on the blog and one of you actually mentioned Letrozole, also called Femara. It was in the back of my brain…then, last month I decided to have a consultation with a specialist. She was very thorough and honest, reticently hopeful. She brought up Femara and a light bulb went off from reading it on the comments from one of you on this blog. So, I switched to that for a month.

Another one of you recommended IT STARTS WITH THE EGG by Rebecca Fett. I had never heard of it before. The book has a ton of good information (and you don’t just have to take our word for it, check out the reviews). It helps keep me feeling proactive, which is extremely helpful. There is a lot of info packed in this book, so my one bit of advice would be not to let it stress you out. It’s an excellent guide. Plenty of info on what the male counterpart can do to help improve sperm quality, too. (Not always easy to get your partner to comply, but worth a try!).

The book has a great guide for all the vitamins and supplements out there that can be helpful for both the male and the female.

I’ve received such good advice from you all. Anything else you can pass along, I’d be so grateful!

And if you are on this road, I’m hoping to read positive notes in the comments!

xoxo

AAJ