Healthy and Humble

GIVEAWAY INSTRUCTIONS AT END OF POST!

My grandmother is 91. She is alive and well, quick as a whip and of sound mind. Oh how I hope I live to see Hayden’s kids have kids (my Nanny has so many great-grandchildren, I’d have to map them out).  She’s taught me many life lessons over the years… but one thing that stands out health wise is what she told me about aluminum.  “Don’t put that stuff on your body, especially after you shave,” she said. “It’s not good for you in the long run.”

That definitely stuck with me, however I didn’t fully implement her advice. I drank sodas (and occasionally still do) out of aluminum cans, I used antiperspirants with aluminum as the main active ingredient. However, a quick google search reveals mixed conclusions about how bad aluminum really is for us, so I didn’t worry about it. 

Now, I’m at a age where I’m rethinking things. If I can put less chemicals in my body or on my body, mind as well go that route, right? If you missed my last post, you may not know I’m freezing my eggs. The process involves injecting hormones to your body, so it’s important to check for any potential risks, like breast cancer or issues with your body’s detoxifying process.

Sitting in the radiology lab, undressing to get my breast squashed into a cold, very powerful machine, the technician asked, “What is this scar?”, looking at a thin faded line across my left nipple on my breast. 

“I was 12, I think. Or around there.” She continued to talk, as she could tell I was nervous. I really didn’t need to be- it wasn’t as scary or hurt as badly as I remembered the first time.

Getting my last mammogram.

“Did they remove tissue and do biopsy?” she asked, as she marked it with a small sticker. Yes, they did. It was benign. I didn’t dwell on it then. I was too young. In 2017, another nodule caught my doctor’s attention during my first mammogram. It’s been something they have watched. It is still there, hence the recent followup with another mammogram. Waiting for the results to come back to see if the nodule has grown was difficult. It has not. I’m taking proper precautions… and monitoring the size with a breast specialist now , but this is what I really want you to take from all of this: There are things in life we can control and prevent and some things we may not be able to. The things we can — shouldn’t we? 

It seems wise to look at ingredients in products we put directly on skin and lymphatic system, like aluminum, dyes, parabens, etc. If you’re like me (someone that shaves), we open up those follicles with steam from our showers and razors. Then, many times, we exit the shower and within minutes are putting deodorant directly on one of our biggest lymph nodes. Could this be harmful? I’m not a doctor, and there is no solid evidence to prove me correct. There IS plenty of evidence, however, proving these ingredients leave your body through your detoxification system. Which is why the FDA requires the WARNING on the back to consult your doctor if you have kidney disease and call poison control if ingested. There is also association with aluminum and dementia. Mental health now and in the future should be a concern for all of us.

With my body detoxing so many things out there already, this is something I can alleviate. I’m not making any claims here- and I’m happy to engage in a healthy debate. I’m just sharing little changes we could make on the road to more holistic living. (See https://www.ewg.org/news-and-analysis/2019/12/antiperspirants-and-breast-cancer-there-link)

When I heard about HumbleBrands deodorant, I was weary because nothing all natural and organic ever worked for me in the past. I’ve tried MANY, but when I really needed dry protection, I would bring in the big guns- the ones with ALUMINUM. FYI: all deodorants are aluminum free- aluminum is only in antiperspirants. The trick is to find a deodorant that keeps you dry and odor free.

Humble is working for me. I stay dry. I love the variety of scents and sizes that appeals to men and women. I have a small travel size in my makeup bag for reapplication on long days on sets or just long days (find it HERE, then go to the SHOP page/ deodorant/ travel sizes. 

I got this far in this post without saying the C-word. October is breast cancer awareness month, so I’m gonna just say this.  Be aware. MEN and women. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. (see https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/male-breast-cancer/symptoms-causes/syc-20374740).

When they heard my enthusiasm for their product, our partnership made sense. I’m honored to spread the word about wellness products that work and change our lives in the long run, as my Grandmother said. Plus, they are doing a one for one this month! For every bottle of Moroccan Rose bought ($10) they donate one bottle to someone battling breast cancer. If that doesn’t give you a reason to buy one… ! Pro tip: add the travel size versions and lip balms —you will not be disappointed — and get FREE SHIPPING. (Anything over $25 garners this perk!). I’m adding these to everyone’s stocking this year for Christmas!

USE CODE ASHLEY20 FOR 20% OFF RIGHT NOW. My goal is to get this Moroccan Rose bottle to 1000 women battling breast cancer by the end of October. Join me, please. Let me know if you do;)

I don’t want to participate in fear mongering, I just want to participate in awareness and sharing thoughts. So, please, share yours!

TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY, MAKE SURE YOU LIKE THESE TWO POSTS HERE and HERE, and follow both accounts. EXTRA CREDIT IF YOU LEAVE A PINK HEART IN THE COMMENTS. 10 of you will win a care package (serious goodies!!) from HumbleBrands. You do NOT want to miss out.

xoxo

AAJ

the NEVER ENDING MARATHON

They say write about what you know… what you are going through. Hmmm. Divorce and quarantine. Exciting! The stuff we’re all going through is not easy. I want to be positive. Even talk about simple things that can bring us all joy. Or affordable fashion finds, lifestyle ideas, etc. And I will again. It’s just not where I am today. Or where our world is today.

But, we will get back there. SOON.

It’s like a never-ending marathon that I didn’t train for and had no idea was starting.

My girlfriend sent me that message about her experience with quarantine. And it hit me hard because that is my personal life right now, too. 

I couldn’t have explained it better. But you know what she DIDN’t say? She didn’t complain about muscle cramps or fatigue. (I’m exhausting this metaphor, but stay with me here). She didn’t talk about QUITTING and dropping out of the race. 

She talked about asking God for help.

Sometimes the simplest things hit me at the right time and resonate. 

Tomorrow is Hayden’s birthday. We are celebrating today. I want to soak up his last day of being three. Hope we all find the joy in today. I’m thinking of creating some sort of birthday tradition for him between just the two of us. Ideas?

My little man after a day at the beach. (In his UV protection suit).

Winter Solstice and US

Y’all… it’s been fun putting up some posts and getting your comments about holiday traditions, shopping and baking (more to come, too), but I want to address something on a serious note. Today seems like a good day because it’s Winter Solstice. Today is the shortest day of sunlight and longest night of darkness; a rebirth of the sun. After posting about going through a divorce, I received a lot of private DMs. I did get back to some of you, but comments kept coming. I thought I would write to each of you right here. 

First of all, I’m grateful you all are sharing. The holidays are so wonderfully chaotic for some, and for others can be brutally lonely and overwhelmingly emotional. I think what is the hardest for some of you (based on what I’m reading) is that this is not the holiday we THOUGHT we would have. The unmet expectations are translating as failure and disappointment in our minds. Although our feelings are valid, they are not always accurate. Feelings are not facts. 

This note is for those of you that told me you find yourselves suddenly single parents this holiday. Being a single parent is never how we imagined life, but here we are. And we will be okay. 

To the one that told me she didn’t know if she could survive this transition of divorce this Christmas, you will. I promise, you will. This season of heartache will pass. For all of us.

To the single mommies out there trying to scrape up money for Christmas, blessings to you.
Let’s not forget all our children really need is us. Our attention. Our love. 

To those of you that are suffering health wise or have loved ones not well, let’s pray for strength and healing. 

And to those of you that have opened up about missing loved ones, my heart aches for you. 

For those of you that were hoping so deeply to have a child of your own this holiday, I understand.

To all of you that told me you are in a relationship you know you need to leave immediately, yet feel you cannot, I understand that, too.

I don’t have the answers. I do pray and talk to God. I’ve had to shift my perspective. I was holding on to “what could have been.” It’s best to let that go. Grieve what could have been, then focus on “what is” and focus on the next step to being YOUR best self and being the best mommy/daddy.  What can WE do today to make tomorrow better? I wrote about how cathartic workouts are for me and encourage you all to find the time. I 110% believe that and know that, but I’ve let life get in the way recently and it’s hard to stay on schedule right now. Let’s all just be gentle with ourselves today. On the darkest night of the year, the lights will shine the brightest. Tomorrow, the sun will surely come up. And it will stay out longer giving us a sense of renewal and regeneration.

As the saying goes, scars have the power to remind us that our past is real. Whether your relationship or situation gave you physical scars or emotional scars or (like me) both, remember that those scars are landmarks in time. And you will one day look at those scars, as I will too, and see how they have faded. You will see how far you’ve come.

I know it’s not comfortable to comment publicly on instagram, so DM is easier. I’m brainstorming on how to connect all of us in a way that feels safe and supportive. I love this blog, but it’s not one location … there are different blog posts where people comment and it’s not possible to read all the comments as a community at once.

Find the joy in life today if you can. My little boy is playing in his room with his Nana and Papa. My heart is full. For those hurting today, consider yourself hugged and this bouquet of flowers is for you. You are not alone. We can turn our tragedy into treasure together.

TRANSFORMATION COMES AT A COST

As I was struggling to “go up the hill” in spin class this week at peak resistance, the instructor said something that struck me. TRANSFORMATION COMES AT A HIGH COST. She said that THREE times. And at one point, when I was about to just STOP, it was like she heard my inner voice and said, DO NOT GIVE UP BEFORE THE MIRACLE HAPPENS. You are almost at the top of the mountain. You are almost THERE. Don’t stop now. What is it that you NEED? What is it that you are PROTECTING? What are you SAVING? It’s up there at the top. GO GET IT.

The thing about transforming ourselves is this: something has to go. You leave part of your “old life” behind. There’s no way around this.

Now, none of this is new information. We’ve all read the inspiring memes a thousand times. But timing is everything, as they say. I am going through an uphill battle right now that doesn’t seem to have an end in sight most days. It’s financially and emotionally exhausting. But TRANSFORMATION COMES AT A HIGH COST. I am making some of the biggest changes of my life. As my preacher Rick Warren reminds us often, focus on the PURPOSE, not the problem. If I focus on the problem and the pain and my “old life,” it seems insurmountable. I feel punched in the gut. Small. Defeated and angry. The anxiety and fear that develops is debilitating, paralyzing and draining. If I focus on the purpose, that pain turns to productive power. And I have energy to pursue the new life I believe God has planned.

And as all this was happening in my head with sweat beating down me, I felt this cathartic rush of emotion. Like I was going to cry in spin class. Ha! Just when I couldn’t push the pedal any longer, the resistance weakened and we were going “downhill.” We reached the peak, caught our breath and we were moving forward at a fast pace. 

Not to make this more profound than it is, but IS KINDA IS! Such a metaphor for God pushing us to our full potential in life. TRANSFORMATION COMES AT A HIGH COST. I’m learning more and more about you all every time I post and you comment. Some of you are dealing with infertility, or being a new mother, or paying off debt, dealing with major health issues, losing loved ones, moving, marriage issues…. Whatever your uphill battle is today that’s taking away your power and feels debilitating, focus on the purpose one pedal push at a time. Stay focused on ONE TASK at a time. And know you are not alone. 

Would love to hear your thoughts- as always- in comments below. Tonight I have set aside time to go through comments on the last few posts!

xoxo

AAJ

ps- workout buddies that push you and hold you accountable are the best! Thank you @iamwillaford.

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Verses and quotes I love that relate to this topic. Hope they inspire!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:

“Write it on your heart

that every day is the best day in the year.

He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day

who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.

You have done what you could.

Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.

Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;

begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit

to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,

with its hopes and invitations,

to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

ps- thank you, Mary, for reminding me of this one.

How to get Happy with God given gifts

I just got home from a workout and am feeling inspired, so I thought I’d put my fingers to the keys. I promised myself next time I felt motivated to share something with y’all, I’d just write it out as soon as I could.

It’s no secret my world is changing. ICYMI you can see a bit of it here and here, etc. I’ve let worry and fear seep into my being lately. I believe in prayer. I believe that God doesn’t want us to worry. And I don’t want to, either. But I am human. Only human. And right now, life has been depleting me.

I ran on adrenaline for so long to get me through a few significant phases. But the “phases” are still coming. Court dates, hearings, money, lawyers, etc. I AM WORRIED, EXHAUSTED AND DEPLETED. My adrenaline is waining. Some of you have commented on my posts. It’s ok. It makes sense.

My girlfriends Kaley, Bri, Ali and Willa have been encouraging me to sculpt out time to workout. And I did. Then I would feel guilty. I have so much to do right now, it felt selfish. But, last weekend, I was with Willa and she really saw it. She saw the depletion. So, she reminded me of something:

God gave us a gift with endorphins. Working our bodies (and minds) to the point of releasing our endorphins is a GIFT. Better than medicine. If you are healthy enough to get out and walk or move or spin or sculpt, DO IT. I know not everyone is, so that in and of itself is a gift. 20 minutes can change your day! I love this article experiment reported in SELF magazine:

All she knows is that she's overwhelmed. So at lunch, she heads to the gym and hops onto the elliptical. As her heart begins to pound, levels of the feel-good neurochemicals serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine rise in her body. So does brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a substance that may protect her brain from emotional disorders and repair damage that stress and depression cause. At the same time, opiate-like endorphins and endocannabinoids (similar to the other kind of cannabis) flood her system, leading to a sense of well-being. Read full article here.

For years, I’ve been an advocate of healthy habits: drinking water, working out (even if it meant jumping jacks and squats in my bedroom), sweating out the bad and putting in the good with your vitamins and supplements. But lately, I let life get the best of me. And Willa reminded me that God gives us ways to be proactive! Keep our minds sharp and our bodies flexible and give us energy. I need energy.

Today was everything for me. I poured out sweat and felt like I left the bad parts of me on my yoga mat. And my God given natural endorphins replaced the old with new energy.

I hope YOU are in an amazing spot in life already (then encourage us with a comment!), but if you are more in my shoes than you’d like to admit…. let’s encourage each other to do what we can. If it’s a walk or run, or yoga—— goooooo! Do it outside for freeeeee. If all you can do today is stand up and stretch…do it. Even for 20 minutes and get happy.

Please. Do it. You will feel better. You will FILL UP. And God can use you for your purpose.