AUG 17

I wrote this on AUGUST 17, 2021, but just now decided to post it once I got home from court this afternoon.

Two years ago today, I embarked on a new life with Hayden. For those of you that don’t know, on August 17, 2019, I finally decided to leave my situation for good on a hot Saturday morning with Hayden in my arms and a small diaper bag. After many other attempts to leave for periods of time, this one was the one that stuck- I left for good. I had no idea what was ahead or how I would make it through even one day. To those of you that have stayed by me through the ups and downs, that sent prayers, encouraging thoughts and DMs and literal care packages to get me through the hardest parts— thank you. And to those of you that picked me up off the ground, sobbing, and held my head up so I could be a good mother and still move forward, I will forever forever remember that. You know who you are. TALK ABOUT BONDING. The photo below is in my girlfriend’s kitchen after arriving home from the worst day of my life. My girls took care of my Hayden while my mom jumped on a plane to meet me. I can’t even write all this without crying. I was loved. And to this day feel it so completely.

I so wish I could say the worst part is over and I’m writing from the other side of the tunnel, but alas, I am still very much in the depths of it.  I choose not to discuss it much on social media for various reasons, but what I can say is—

if you’re in my shoes, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP- let’s just keep going. I promise you—— we are stronger than we think and capable of more than we can imagine.  (Joshua 1:19) 

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Although I have now been in litigation for OVER TWO YEARS, somehow, I’ve managed and must believe God didn’t bring us this far to leave us here. He is faithful and will keep protecting all of us so we get to the best place for everyone involved. Not just Hayden, not just me. But us all.  Including you.

I never want to give the impression that suddenly, I got “over it.” I hear from many of you that are in similar situations and trying to get out…. or did get out and are struggling. I don’t post all the hard. Some things are not for mass consumption. But I am still here on my knees praying and hoping for the best for you and me. And we will get through it. 

I get a great number of questions asking about my situation. Although, we are still not fully divorced (many of you ask why!!), Hayden is very happy and he does see his father and Huck (his half-brother) very regularly. I love this child more than anything in the world and only want the best for him.  

Now, on to the other stuff! I believe if I had not gone through the hard things I refer to above, I would not feel equipped to do the hard things I am doing now. God can turn trauma into treasure. BELIEVE IT. He’s definitely not done with me yet (at all!!) but I can feel the transformation. Goals have been achieved these past two years. I never thought I could make it on my own as a single mother with sole custody with a lot of bills to pay, but here I am. Goals that I always FELT I could accomplish but didn’t know how (DIRECTING- another post coming about that!!). God paved the way. My parents were invaluable and my insanely supportive support system (including you all) lifted me. 

If anyone cares, these are some lines I’ve written down from books and such over the past months that I’ve loved:

Surround yourself with positive people that want the best for you. And be that for them. There is no room for toxic people. It’s OK to walk away from toxicity. You can love and pray for them without being in their presence.

Be grateful. Many many people around the world would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Even on your worst day.

Know your strengths AND weaknesses. I learned more of my WEAKNESSES while directing this past month. Oh good grief, that’s not fun… but now I know what to work on.

If you find there is no purpose in you endeavor, remove yourself. This one was hard for me…. read that again. 

We ARE WORTHY, We ARE POWERFUL AND We CAN DO HARD THINGS. 

We  PRAY TOGETHER (Matt 19:19

xoxo

AAJ

GET that GENEO GLOW

THE GLOW UP!

AHHHHHH…. deep breaths! I recently started going back to yoga now that the world is opening up and those deep breaths are LIFE. Taking in fresh oxygen and releasing toxins is so important.

Our SKIN needs the same thing!! 

I get many questions from you all, but most of them are about health and skincare and… vanity! When I get enough DMs about something, I realize it’s time for a blog post.  After posting about the FACIAL OF THE FUTURE, it incited some questions: Did this facial live up to the hype? Is it worth the money? Did I actually see a difference?

In short, YES!

As I drive across Los Angeles toward the ocean, the air starts to change. I arrive in Santa Monica (about 15 degrees cooler than the valley) excited to find this little medispa that offers the Geneo facials. I walk around the block to try and relax, shake off a bit of life’s issues and take some deep ocean-air breaths before I start the facial.

THE PROCESS

The esthetician explains there are different types of facials and gives me options from which to choose: revive, illuminate, balance and hydrate. I chose the Geneo Illuminate facial. The Illuminate Facials’s claim to fame is reducing hyperpigmentation, rejuvenating the skin by removing dead skin cells and helping with skin tone. 

Each facial is tailor made for certain issues you may be going through (from acne to melasma to wrinkles), but all of them have the 3-in-1 benefits of exfoliation, oxygenation and nourishment. The whole process takes 45 minutes to an hour. The Geneo Primer Gel that’s used in the treatment interacts with the Geneo OxyPod to create a carbon dioxide rich environment on the skin’s surface, which naturally sends oxygen rich blood to the surface of your skin, creating the effervescent glow we all want.

After my chair was reclined down to bed status, my technician cleansed and prepped my skin.

If you check out my reel above, you’ll see the different steps we took for my whole facial. She focused a great deal on my hyperpigmentation around my upper cheeks.

It doesn’t hurt, but there is some slight tingling temporarily as you feel the technician working to remove all the dead skin. Any discomfort is a good feeling because you know it’s working! The Geneo facial incorporates Ultrasound for maximum absorption and Neo-Massage soothing techniques to reduce puffiness and promote lymphatic drainage, which puts me right to sleep at one point!! I wish it wouldn’t end.

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The Geneo facial incorporates Ultrasound for maximum absorption and Neo-Massage soothing techniques to reduce puffiness and promote lymphatic drainage, which puts me right to sleep at one point!! I wish it wouldn’t end.

After making sure all the gel is out of my hairline and lashes (but no worry if you find a particle or two later), I’m then massaged with a Vitamin C serum and sunscreen. My technician reminds me I must wear mineral sunscreen (also referred to a physical sunscreen) with zinc and titanium for protection. She recommends staying away from the chemical sunscreens and to try out these: Skinceuticals Physical fusion or Dr. Jart’s color correction (really love this one).

She also points out that after exfoliating all the dead skin cells off, she notices some “congestion” of clogged pores and suggests I return for a Geneo BALANCE facial that targets acne next. 

 WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARD?

Like most of us, I tend to be more critical of myself. I have to admit, though, it looks like I’m glowing from the inside. I literally don’t want to put makeup on my skin for fear of covering up the fresh glow!

I move on with my day right away, no downtime whatsoever. 

The next day I woke up with the same glow. I noticed a bit of redness around my cheeks where we focused on brightening areas of melasma. The texture feels a bit different due to the exfoliation. Over the next week or so, new skin emerges (I know, sounds weird) from the production of collagen that was activated and feels extremely clean, soft and looks more even toned.

I’m curious if other people’s responses to this facial of the future. After googling, I realize I’m not alone. Many people are adding this to their beauty routines every few months. It’s more affordable than most of the other procedures that are out there. Zero down time makes it a win-win. 

I’m looking forward to trying the acne/ Balance one next. Stay tuned! To find a Geneo facial nearest you, go to: https://geneo-us.com/find-a-provider/.  To follow them on instagram and stay in the loop: @geneo_us 

UPDATE POST TREATMENT

I got my face dermaplaned a few weeks after the treatment. The aesthetician (my fabulous sister) couldn’t believe how brown spots were coming right off with barely a touch. I was told after this Geneo facial, my skin would be primed for derma planing! They were correct. The brown spots that were left just flaked right off. I had to add this!!

Any questions you may have, please let me know!

xoAAJ

HAYDEN'S BEDROOM TRANSITION

Hayden got a bigger bed for his growing body. Now that he’s FIVE, I wanted to transition to more of a little boy’s room. My sister Jordyn and her husband Cody came out to help and boy did they!

Here were the things I needed to consider: 1) We are still renting, so I didn’t want to invest in anything we couldn’t take with us. 2) He still loves his animals (“stuffies”). Since there will come a day soon where he won’t want all of them, I’m holding on to this sweet time for now. 3) I needed to make use of a small space and somehow reduce clutter. READ ON for details on everything, as well as our solutions!

The first thing to consider was where to put the bigger bed from Evolur. We debated against the wall to give more floor space but ultimately, this placement looked best. The bed is a full WITH A TRUNDLE (see photo below). Eventually, I’ll use the trundle to hold a mattress for guest, but for now (GENIUS IDEA FROM JORDYN), it’s much needed storage. The nightstand next to it is a universal model from Evolur. FYI: Evolur’s furniture is very well made, easy to assemble and incredibly durable.

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I had the idea to take some of his nocturnal animals and put them in the tree. It adds interest and character! This is a 6 foot faux fiddle leaf tree under $180! It’s easy to maneuver and place limbs and leaves where you want them. I love this tree!

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The large giraffe is staying with us for now. We still love this guy! Such a big impact and well made for a great price.

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One of the best ideas my sister had was this AFFORDABLE white storage unit. It streamlined his toys and looks so neat and clean. Plus, these large, white bins are the perfect size for him to come grab himself and bring to another room if he wants.

The acrylic collector’s lamp over Hayden’s book shelf is one of my favorite things. We change the theme often (from cars, to dinosaurs to holiday items). It would also look fun in a little girl’s room full of sea shells or something. Right now, there’s free shipping!

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Things are always a work in progress, but this feels good for Hayden for right now. I know I didn’t link everything, so if you have a specific question, please let me know and I’ll hopefully get it answered. xoxo AAJ

ALL THE CODES!

We try hard to get back to every DM on IG, twitter and FB, and answer emails that come in from this site! Sometimes we just don’t have the man power (errrr- womanpower:) so —- here are all the current discount codes most requested of you!

ALSO, if there is something (like, nearly anything!) that you all are looking into, needing or wanting, I’d love to know! I’d love have my team research and see what we can come up with!

CHILDLIFE ESSENTIAL VITAMINS:

IHEARTCL gets you 20% off HERE on amazon. Also, tomorrow I am posting an AWESOME giveaway from Childlife, plus a little gift from me, so stay tuned on instagram.


TAILORED PERSONALIZED DOG FOOD.

OSCAR70 gets you 70% off your first subscription of personalized dog food delivered right to your door at TailoredPet.com. It is so affordable, everyone should try. Your first bag can be as low as $8.40! LMK if you have any questions about this. My best friend Marisa was just in town and raved over how good Oscar looked. She hadn’t seen him in person in over a year (covid), she thought he looked younger, seemed spunkier and healthier. You will not be disappointed giving this amazing women led small company a try!

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MOTHERDIRT PROBIOTIC SKINCARE.

EXCLUSIVELY FOR YOU! Ashley30 gets you their best discount EVER. Read my blog post about it HERE. If you notice, their best discount used to be 20% as I say it in that post, but I asked for a bit more to get you all started. Again, I am not getting a kickback- just helps you;)


HUMBLE ALL NATURAL DEODORANT - ASHLEY20 for 20% off

READ ABOUT IT HERE

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MEL SCIENCE KITS FOR ALL AGES (ESPECIALLY KIDS) - CODE ASHLEY25 gets you 25% first kit and free shipping, which is like getting a science class sent to your doorstep for about $25.

SKIN SO CLEAR

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Acne is not a topic we openly discuss. But it happens to almost all of us, so I wish we would normalize it.

In the past, when I’ve had heinous seasons of acne, I did everything I could to conceal it. I actually became quite good at covering it up. 

I’ve spent a great deal of time on studio sets with heavy makeup under hot lights (I still do!), which is not ideal for my skin. I thought I was “helping” myself with at home extracting sessions, but what was really happening? I was spreading bad bacteria all over my face. Also, what is hard to understand when you’re younger is the permanent damage you are doing stretching your pores. I had good skin throughout my teen years, so when adult hormonal acne happened, it was all new to me. I was ashamed and embarrassed. I shouldn’t have been, though. IT IS NORMAL.

I had a front burner storyline on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL in a love triangle and I didn’t want to show my face on screen. I had to have the camera tight on my face in kissing scenes! I was mortified. The acne had gotten bad in areas and was so inflamed, it changed the shape of my jaw line. 

I tried antibiotics, Proactive, salicylic acid, etc. These worked temporarily, but resulted in redness, scabbing sometimes (which is hard to cover up).  Actually, without repairing and nourishing, I would dry out my skin so badly, it would over produce oil to counteract my skincare choices and the acne cycle would continue. 

I finally learned the goal is not to just treat the acne, but to balance and repair the microbiome. 

When your biome is unbalanced, your skin is not happy and acts out with acne. I believe in balancing the inside of the body, as well as the outside. 

Just like when you’re sick and you have to take an antibiotic, it’s so important to take a PRObiotic. You don’t want to wipe out all the bacteria; it’s important to keep the good stuff. The same concept applies to skin. Mother Dirt’s A+O Restorative Mist is what I’ve been using to maintain a balance on the outside. (update: the company JUST gave me a discount code. Ashley20 gets 20% off. I do not get any kick backs from this code— it’s just for you guys. And it works for returning customers, unlike other codes;)

I saw my girlfriend’s daughter recently. She is 16 (let’s call her Sally) and growing up and dealing with the most normal thing in the world- acne. Sally did not believe I ever had horrible breakouts until I showed her the proof (see photos below). And I still deal with it sometimes if I get lazy about skincare. I wanted Sally to know it was OKAY and NORMAL and there are solutions. And while her confidence might grow with clearer skin, her self worth is the same with or without blemishes.

My TOP ideas for Sally:

  1. PLEASE do not touch/pick your face. I did this for years (still do sometimes, I’m human). If it’s a very unsightly white blemish, there’s a process to help rid that but do not use your dirty fingernails.

  2. Clean your skin properly every morning and every night and after every workout. When cleaning, make sure you go all the way to the hair line and behind the ears. Mother Dirt’s Probiotic Cleanser is excellent, but just make sure you properly cleanse. A makeup wipe is NOT a skincare routine.

  3. Invest in a routine that you will stick to and works for you. Don’t forget to moisturize (all over the upper chest and neck area, too).

  4. Drink water and add probiotics to your daily oral intake.

  5. For adult skin (once you get there), incorporate a retinol that works for your skin, but as always, please discuss these steps with your doctor. I’m happy to share my whole routine if there is interest.

  6. Live like you already have the skin you want. Try not to place your happiness on the condition of your skin or the size of your body (I’ve been guilty of both). Find your joy in other areas of your life! This one is the hardest.

  7. Ask your doctor about vitamins and supplements that help skin. Like magnesium and Vitamin D!

I’m hear to answer questions or listen if y’all have any comments. Love y’all and thanks for being here. If you have any tips that worked well for you, PLEASE LEAVE THEM. I wanna hear it ALL!! xoxo

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Part Three of Egg Freezing: the retrieval

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While egg freezing is nothing new and many many women have done this, I could hardly find any written accounts of someone my age online. If you find any, I’d love to read. That was my motivation to write these posts, in hopes of making someone out there feel less alone on their whole fertility journey.

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I anxiously awaited the results of my last ultrasound to determine if I even got to do the retrieval. If the eggs didn’t grow enough, the doctor wouldn’t go through with the procedure and I would have to try it all over again next month. If they did, I’d have to go get a covid test  immediately (for this hospital, it was up BOTH nostrils!). It’s daunting to say the least. I had so many dreams of Hayden as a baby during this time (pictured above). Maybe I was trying to manifest? I was filming Bold and the Beautiful the day before I did my trigger shot. This gives the eggs that final boost and pumps me with the most amount of hormones to date. I did not feel my best. I had bruises on my abdomen and was retaining a ton of fluid (common side effect). I actually weighed in 9 pounds heavier at the hospital than I was 2 weeks before.

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But, everything did look good with the eggs and we could move  forward with the retrieval. An immense weight was lifted, at least for a few hours. I feel so much for women that get this far and then cannot move forward. It’ s emotionally, physically and financially draining.

I’ve been putting off posting this entry. I know why. 

The morning of the retrieval, I am sick to my stomach. Of course, it could be the lack of food or drink for 12 hours, or the anxiety of going under anesthesia. But, I know it’s the emotion. If I hadn’t lost the last baby (about 14 months before the day of the surgery), I wouldn’t be freezing eggs at all. So many people have told me the miscarriages were “meant to be.” I know they are referring to the events of the past year: being granted a permanent domestic violence 3 year restraining order, then having to go through court custody battles and divorce proceedings with that same person. I know my friends mean well. But, I still don’t look at it that way. It was a loss. I never had a real chance to grieve because I went into survival mode shortly after the miscarriage. 

I guess this morning, it hits me. 

It’s like any other surgery- no eating or drinking beforehand, get there very early. I have my trusted caretaker at the house for Hayden. I uber to the hospital because I can’t drive home. You bring limited personal items, everything goes in a bag. You fill out a ton of paperwork, check your vitals, get in your sterile gear, and lay down on the bed just staring at the ceiling waiting. I advise asking for all paperwork ahead of time. I wasn’t allowed to sign anything until I got here, but at least I had already read over all the risks and waivers and insurance issues, etc.

The nurse arrives to put in the IV. I’ve never had good luck with my right arm, which tends to be the arm closest to the machines in almost every situation I’ve been in…. giving birth, drawing blood, DNC from miscarriage—  and true to form, even right now. I beg her to go straight to the left arm. One would think the nurse would appreciate the tip, since I know my body better than they do. But, it’s kinda like a new hairdresser that doesn’t listen to you because they think they know your hair better than you ever could, only to learn you were right in the fist place— after your hair looks slightly orange. She insists on using my right arm and said all the other nurses must not have known what they were doing. After one failed attempt, I ask to speak to my doctor. I don’t want bruises on my right arm again. She switches to the left arm, very annoyed. But it works perfectly the first time on the left arm. I’m proud of myself for being assertive. My people-pleasing nature too often wins the struggle. 

It all becomes a bit of a blur after that. The doctor comes in to say hello; the anesthesiologist arrives, asks a few questions… and I become very relaxed. 

I wake up groggy, but ok. My dearest Jennifer Garies is there waiting for me. (Yes, we are really like real family). She brought snacks and drives me home, making sure I am ok. I am ok- but probably best I don’t drive. I was hoping for 12 eggs, but through the retrieval and freezing process, they got eight, then only seven made it through the fast freeze. Funny- seven has always been a special number to me. 

The crazy part? All the hoops I went through, doctor’s appointments, injections, etc— there is absolutely no guarantee. And we’ll never know how viable those eggs are until I try to have a baby at some point.

So, my hope is one egg (the first one!) makes it through the thawing process, fertilization process, testing process and then my body receives it, allowing the embryo to grow. It may not be the traditional way, but I still call it a miracle.

My body went back to it’s normal state within a week or so. Be gentle on yourself. I did not feel any pain afterward, but just uncomfortable for a day or so.

And all in all, it was cathartic. I deeply felt this was something I needed to do. And, as I’ve mentioned in another post, what if everything goes as well as it possibly could? I still believe in love, and for certain still believe in miracles. Ready for both.

If you’re curious about fertility, I still highly recommend IT STARTS WITH THE EGG. i wrote more about his book and what I learned HERE.

12 DAYS OF GIVEAWAYS

I’ve been getting message after message about the discount codes for my 12 DAYS OF GIVEAWAYS. So, as promised, here is a recap of some of the giveaways- especially those offering codes for you! Thank you to every single one of you that entered, participated, commented and followed along. Please stay tuned for one last BIG giveaway surprise coming to you very soon!! EEEEP. I am very excited.

At the time this blog was published, many of these items arrived before Christmas. But, as you know, that changes with time;) Oh and my offer to send a Christmas/New Year’s card is still going strong! Just like and comment on THIS POST. I’ll pick another dozen of you to send one to today.

Photo: Stephanie Day for @OGRAPHR

Photo: Stephanie Day for @OGRAPHR

CHILDLIFE ESSENTIALS

We love childlife!! I talked about the Vitamin D3 that my elf gave to me (and a year’s supply to our winner), but we take the whole line. I say “we” because I often give myself a soft gel, too. Childlife uses only the highest quality ingredients. Gluten free, casein free, alcohol free. Contains no milk, eggs, wheat, yeast, peanuts, tree nuts, fish or shellfish. No artificial colorings, flavorings or sweeteners. USE code ASHLEYJONES on iherb.com and receive 10% off your childlife order. use code ASHLEYJONES.

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PEDIPED, KIDS’ SHOES

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Most days, Pediped shoes are the only shoes my child will wear. He loves that they’re “cool.” I love that they’re WASHABLE (most styles) and promote healthy foot development, so it’s a win-win.

They are still have their own 12 Days of scavenger hunts on their site, so check them out! Hayden is convinced they make “real police shoes!" (see photo). If you have a child starting to toe-walk, I recommend using these sturdier shoes. I have seen first hand (not with Hayden but with others close to me) how they can greatly help, especially the high top ones.

The exact shoe he has on in the photo is still available HERE. And of course, I have to congratulate winners we are announcing today: Kim Pincombe-Cole (@rainesmom), Mary McGrath, and Olivia Waddell! Please email us or DM on instagram. YAYYYY!

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MOTHERDIRT

I’ve often discussed the importance of probiotics. I add probiotic powder to my water. But I’ve never added it topically — until learning about it from Mother Dirt. As I mentioned in my instagram post, the real magic is in the A+O spritz after cleansing. That glow (probably the live probiotics) stays with you! This goodness needs to be refrigerated so right now, with a purchase of a kit, you get a FREE MINI BEAUTY FRIDGE. WOW!

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MUSCLEGUNS

MY code still works, GUYS! I just checked! Use ASHLEY10 to get 10% OFF the SALE price. I’m not sure how long they will let me have this code IN ADDITION TO THE SALE PRICE, so TAKE ADVANTAGE! Also, it’s free to download their app called DEEP, so I highly recommend getting it. It’s self guided massage (but they add recovery tools and stretching techniques often, so worth a look)! The machine itself is so powerful for such a lightweight tool. YOU will NOT be disappointed (have you been watching my stories!??) Again, use code ASHLEY10. BTW- over a dozen of you have emailed or DM saying you bought this! That makes me happy because I know you’ll love it!

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ROKU

ROKU’S new streambar is a 2-in-one upgrade allowing you to easily upgrade any TV with powerful streaming and cinematic sound! (The sound is amazing!!) You do not need a separate Roku player- this is built in. And this system is blue tooth, so you can play music straight from any device (like your phone). Congrats to the winners (there were TWO- Roku through in an Ultra at the last minute!). I know you will love this! AND IT ARRIVES BEFORE CHRISTMAS IF YOU GET IT SOON. AND IT’S ON SALE!!! YOU CAN’T DO BETTER than that! Peek below when I told Hayden he could play music on this and have dance parties—- see his little expression!

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FITSNACKS

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I ordered a couple of these boxes for gifts and people were SO happy. They kindly gave a code for our readers: ASHLEY gets you free shipping off a one-time box (subscriptions are always free shipping). If you want to send someone a New Year’s family box- I promise you they will love it! The box pictured about is their Premium Variety box—- check out their family boxes and coffee box with Specialty imported Italian coffee!

MEAT DISTRICT

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Meat District really needs no introduction. It’s just the best prepared patties (and chicken wings, etc)out there. Check their site HERE to see all the ways you can use the meat for different dinners. The brand is giving a handful of coupons for FREE PACKAGES OF MEAT of your choice! Leave a comment here below on this blog post (please include a social media handle or also email us so we have a way to contact you).

MICROKICKBOARD

I remember first seeing Hayden on a microkickboard. He was so young, it was hard to believe he could do it. I’m gonna try to look for a photo of him not even two racing around…. He loved every minute. And now, we graduated to a a big boy one. They grow so very fast. His Elf brought him one as an early Christmas. It was actually a gift for mama because it’s the perfect was to get energy out and for me to run alongside. I was very excited to give it to him! We didn’t even bother changing clothes, he went out and rode it in his pjs! I was thrilled we got to give away one of these awesome kickboards. Check them out HERE.

WINE WISK

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Wine Wisk is the cutest little wine aerator that doubles as wine glass charm (and identifier). What a unique, great gift for the person that has everything…. or the wine connoisseur. With code ASHLEY2020 you buy one- and get one free!!

CASH GIVEAWAYS were a definite hit! CONGRATS TO THE WINNERS Lisa Magyar and Corina Cadee!. I plan on keeping these up!

SALE SALE SALE holiday wreaths, gifts...adding more every hour!

For my SHOP SMALL POST, click HERE! It’s a slightly updated version from last year!

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Hope everyone had a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I’m not totally prepared for Black Friday, but as I order holiday gifts online, I’ll be adding it to the list here. So, basically just items that I’m currently using or purchasing for my loved ones!

WHOLEBEING HAPPINESS

If you missed out on all my stories about the course that changed my perspective and greatly helped me in 2020, you can sign up now. We are doing a private zoom discussion group with me, YOU (anyone that takes the course) and the founder, Megan McDonough. Once you sign up, I personally send you your workbook and a note to get you started. This is a very rare discount, but AJ100 gets you $100 0ff, so you can take the course for under $300. It’s a five week course, but you have 10 weeks to complete it at your leisure. The tools you will receive will remain forever. Check out my blog post about it HERE. I think this would make a perfect amazing holiday gift, too. The gift that keeps on giving.

BACK TO BASICS:

HumbleBrands deodorant. 30% off sale. I think it may be their best sale yet. I wrote a whole post about my switch to pure and natural deodorant THAT WORKS SO INCREDIBLY WELL…. ps- the minis make for the cutest stocking stuffers. Your teens and tweens will LOVE keeping them in their purses or backpacks for sports, school, sleepovers. And I keep them in my makeup bag on set.

HOLIDAY WREATH

I could not believe the amount of you that purchased the fall wreath I got (well, it was awesome and only about $22), so I thought I would show you what I bought already for holidays. And the other ones I’m eyeing right now. The first one below (just click on image to go to site) is hanging on my wall now! LOVE it. And it’s 25% off today, so you’ll get it for less than I paid! It is stunning, easy to arrange perfectly and lights up! We just love it. It’s much larger than it looks below. And I know it sounds like I’m making this up, but it’s so much prettier in person, too. I promise! I’m also ordering the solid white one, as I love winter white.


BEST POSSIBLE GIFT FOR KIDDOS/ TEENS/ ANY AGE THAT WANTS TO CREATE:

If you saw my stories, you know how much fun Hayden and I had with the KIWICO crate this week. He was adorable reading the instructions (they make the most kid friendly instructions I’ve ever seen). He was SO proud of himself when we were done. Honestly, I told my girlfriends from HS and my cousins they HAD to get this subscription for their children and tweens. Use code ASHLEY50 for 50% off your first box. And you can just order ONE month if you want. It’s free shipping and UNDER $10. WHY WOULDN’T YOU GET THIS?? Best Christmas gift. They have a Black Friday sale going on- but it is not a better discount AND does not allow for just one month. You have to get the multiple subscription to get discount, so if you just wanna try it, use ASHLEY50.

MASKS MAKS MASKS. BEST STOCKING STUFFER FOR ALL AGES.

My friend Sydne Summer makes the prettiest, my comfortable masks. Many of you have asked where I get my chain I wear often in stories. Well, HERE! Right now, they are 25%off. Too good. I wish I could say I think my mask wearing days are over, but alas, I think they are here for a while. The below are some of my favorite. And I can match with Hayden. Check out her loungewear, too. With the discount, it’s a great buy!!

FEELING MY BEST:

I think I’ve written about Spanx in a handful of posts here. They are not often on sale… but right now, 20% EVERYTHING site wide!! AND FREE SHIPPING. Grab ‘em now.

SEPHORA 50% OFF SALE.

I’ll report back with what I am personally stocking up on, but definitely new foundation! So much is on sale… and from what I can see, free shipping! Take advantage of this SALE.

Sitting down to breakfast with Hayden, but stay tuned, I’ll be back!! Didn’t have time to add photos, but will be doing so.

xoxo

ps- if you are finding awesome deals, let me know!! I am on the search for a very scrumptious ROBE!! And Hayden is asking me to look for POLICE CAR ORNAMENTS. LOL. Yes, I know. hard to find. If you see any- please let me know!

OMGosh you guys are so fast!! I already got a DM with a robe you love. Linking it below and I just ordered. It’s on sale and affordable! The reviews sold me! I’ve been wanting comfy robe for a while! YAY. Thanks for sending (you know who you are!).

Another great buy friends told me about? LoyalHana! 40% site wide. If you are expecting or a new mother or like me and just love comfortable timeless clothing, you will not want to miss this sale. You’ll recognize several pieces you see on me often!



MONTHLY GIVEAWAY!!

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NEW MONTHLY GIVEAWAY

You guys have been so lovely supporting my endeavor to have this blog and my social media accounts, I want to do something for you now. Each month, I’m putting together my MONTHLY MYSTERY BOX.  It’s filled with amazing items I love…. little gifts for you or family members! If you receive a few things that don’t fit your lifestyle, give them away as gifts! So this will be the box that keeps on giving.

I mentioned it earlier in the month, but haven’t discussed it since. I’m starting with November, the month centered around gratitude.

ps- forgive the random photo….no time to take a new one. #momlife

HOW TO ENTER

To enter, all you have to do is like, comment and save (the far right tab under each post) all the posts I put up on instagram. THAT’S IT! You can turn on post notifications so you don’t miss one. To do so, click the top three dots at the top right of any photo of mine on instagram. In the drop down list, click “turn on post notifications.” BTW- there’s not that many posts, so it’s easy!

Excited to share this fun idea with you and see who wins this month. Winner will be chosen randomly. I’ll DM for the best address to send out first week of December. Throughout the rest of the month, I’ll be showing you in stories what I’m putting in the mystery box.

And while I’m here….I’ll go ahead and announce that I’m doing 12 DAYS OF GIVING starting Dec 1st, 2020! Everyday, I’ll be doing a different giveaway. I am so very excited for this because so many of you will get opportunities to be gifted something FUN and SPECIAL. I plan on ending 2020 on a good note. Praying for that.

This will be totally separate from my monthly giveaway that I do on my own. AHHH SO MANY THINGS COMING UP. If you have any questions, leave a comment. Stay tuned in my stories to get updates on what’s included in the giveaway. I truly enjoy this process. It’s a fun part of my day and month. So, thank YOU all for being here. xoxo

CHOOSE HAPPINESS #wholebeinghappiness

Everyone has emotional predisposition.

Some people struggle with happiness. It isn’t in their “make-up,” so to speak. They wake up and scan their world for issues, worst case scenarios. 

Some people have the happy gene. I think my son does. They just see the world (and their glass) as half full no matter what. It’s in their makeup. So, when life hands them lemons, well….it may be sour, but they make lemonade and figure out how to add the sugar.

Can some people be both? I’m not sure, but there is something called the Happiness Set Point. I’m halfway through my course on WholeBeing Happiness. I barely mentioned it on stories and got more DMs about it than I ever have about anything else. I think 2020 has done a number on many of us. It’s fascinating to me how happiness can be learned. At least, I’m learning so much. Just altering my perspective and looking at my WHOLE being. We cannot thrive if we ignore parts of ourselves. *I know this to be true because I’ve tried. I’ve tried hard to shut down emotional parts of myself, trauma from my marriage— and just focus on moving forward in other areas, but this doesn’t work in the long run. “When you negate, you activate”*and those emotions come haunting you when you least expect it. 

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I happened to be in the middle of difficult divorce on March 13th when the world collapsed. I had just gone back to B&B for a stint, wondering if possibly it could keep going. Then, everything shut down - for all of us. My set court dates for custody were pushed, then pushed again. Lawyer fees were intense. Still are. Hayden and I barely left the house (house is generous word, as we downsized to an apartment from our home).

I was going through the worst time in my life and suddenly, we needed protective gear to just walk the dog.

The stress took a toll (I know I’m not alone). In some instances, I became indecisive and had trouble making simple decisions, which I’m learning are symptoms from past trauma. This course is helping me change the way I think - even hope for the best outcomes possible and heal.

Everyone I talk to has their own story. Or worse. They lost someone during covid.  Some because of covid. So, taking your “whole being” temperature right now can be an interesting endeavor. Part of the work is figuring out where you are on their SPIRE scale, which his an acronym for spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational and emotional.

And the first hurdle is awareness.  This doesn’t take away from my devotionals or small bible study through my church. It’s simply another tool to work parallel with that. 

As a mother, a single one at that, I’m finding this course is helping me with time management. Parents can so easily get focused on certain parts of their lives (families, work, etc), they neglect the other aspects and find themselves running on empty. How many times have we thought- “there’s just not enough time in the day?” Or “I just need a day to sleep!” You get it, I’m sure.

As I mentioned in my instagram post today, I am appreciating WBI so much, I spoke to one of the founders about partnering with them to give you all a discount. Not sure exactly how we can make all this work, but If you’re interested in doing this course and end up taking it, lmk. I’d love to send you workbook that goes with it, as a gift. The same one I’m using. Plus, I’m thinking it’d be cool to do a zoom with those of you that are taking the course for us all to discuss. Thoughts? I really want to do this. They also agreed to do something extremely rare and give a $100 discount. Use code AJ100 (case sensitive). I looked at this as an invaluable experience that I could do on my own time and less expensive that traditional therapy I was orgininally going to attend.

**taken from WBHappiness Course

Happy Monday.

xo AAJ

PART TWO of Egg Freezing: INJECTIONS

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I kinda jump right in with PART TWO of my egg freezing journey. Find Part ONE here. Nothing fancy here- just literally documenting. I took so much video, but not as many photos. I’ll definitely have a video up soon, though. As always, would love your thoughts in comments.

xo AAJ

FIRST NIGHT OF INJECTIONS

Sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing, I feel defeated. My medications were delivered. Despite the nurse explaining it several times, this now seems extremely tedious and daunting. I am so angry to be doing this now in my life- alone without a partner. I’m angry about covid keeping me from being able to do this in person with someone else. I worry I’m too old- this is a waste. I’m old and it could cause any abnormal breast tissue to grow, hence my appointments with breast specialists. My mind just races. 

The delivery arrived around 9pm. It comes in a very large box with some temperature controlled meds that must be refrigerated. I sorted through it all, separated the medications, the needles, the antiseptic, the Q-caps (I had never heard of these before). Looked at what powders needed to be mixed with what liquids before injecting them into my body. It’s imperative I do this correctly— even though I’m tired, and now crying. I have to wait until Hayden is asleep to do this, obviously.

Then, I realize a lot of people doing this ARE alone. I look up instructions on youtube and found step-by-step videos for each medication. I did look at a few videos before getting the meds, but it was all confusing until I could see the materials in front of me. I take a deep breath and just do it. I feel like I’m in Breaking Bad or something. Exaggerating, but it’s a decent amount of mixing and putting the right needles on at the right time, etc. Not gonna lie, there are a lot of needles.

NO ONE MENTIONED

In the middle of the night after taking the first injections, I got my period. My doctor put me on birth control for 10 days when we first started the process. I was confused about my cycle because it gets adjusted. I didn’t keep track and panicked when it started. I thought something went wrong and the process was messed up. I figured I did the drugs incorrectly and was so mad at myself. I called the doctor on call at the surgery center. Alas, it is completely normal. I was right on track, in fact. No one told me, probably because it’s common sense!

The medications are known to have side effects, as you will come to know. These are easy to research and find online. It’s widely known. I managed pretty well, but have gained about 8 lbs. I had to film a pilot presentation right in the middle of it. (If it gets picked up and airs, you will see most definitely see the water weight.) It doesn’t happen to everyone, but it did me. I probably was more emotional and stuff, but didn’t feel horrible. I’ve heard people have seriously intense mood swings. I did have pain after injecting the Menapur. And some bruising on my abdomen. Actually, some days it was a lot of bruising.

It’s expensive. This is also widely known. I even researched and attempted to find the best pharmacy for the medication I was prescribed, but you need to be careful. You want a pharmacy that you can call last minute that has any medication you need available and can deliver it that day. I also called them more than once with questions and the pharmacist was available for me every time. This is key. I was on antibiotics, too. Then, after a series of about 10-12 days, I took the trigger shots that give the doctor the final result to see if retrieval is possible. It’s a bit of roller coaster.

DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS

I didn’t quite realize how often I would be getting ultrasounds and blood work. It’s about 2-3 times a week, then every other day when they get closer to the retrieval surgery. Or every day. 

You’ll also be going in for appointments prior to injections to make sure this is a good cycle to do it and your body looks prepared. Normally this would have been easier, but covid made it more complicated. Covid testing was required at different points and at a certain point, Hayden could no longer come with me. ALSO… as I was laying on the table in the doctor’s office about to get another ultrasound, I was told that we hoped the medication was working and the follicles were growing properly. I was like… wait, WHAT??? There is a chance you inject all this medication and there are not enough eggs or they do not reach a certain size. So, I waited for a text or email from my doctor every time I left hoping for the green light to continue. Again, the roller coaster.

GOOD NEWS

It’s a finite amount of time and if you are looking into doing this or starting IVF, you can do it. If I can manage it, trust me, so can you. There’s a whole list of things you are suppose to do (or at least I I was given a list). I was pretty good- not perfect. I disused it a bit on the original post about egg freezing. Also, very important to note- the injections DO become much easier. You get so used to doing them. And you figure out the right rhythm. 

I’m up for answering questions if you have them. Please ask here- if you want to conceal your identity, sign in as a guest. It’s better for others to see q&a’s. If you ask over DM, I may never see it and also for sure, no one else will. 

Thanks for sending the good vibes. And sending them back to you.

I did get the go ahead that the retrieval will happen, that will be PART THREE.

SWEATER ROUND UP...before they're gone!

Between my more serious posts about breast cancer awareness and freezing my eggs, I’m squeezing in a fun, light one. Sizes and colors are going fast… here we go! Y’ALL - all sweaters are $35 or under!!

I’m wearing a small. It looks tight around my waist, but it’s not. I’m holding it up here; there’s some room there. This is so soft and comes in 4 colors and is $35!! (Might be even lower today??) I’m contemplating the black, too. Or white! But this blush is a favorite color of mine. I put this up on stories asking if looked too much like a “mom style!” Well, I AM a mom, so… I guess it works. Wearing them here with my Leopard Rothys. No secret how much I’ve loved these (washable, comfortable and made of recycled materials!). Really love the slightly puffy sleeves cause they balance out my hips (see close up photo below). Every time I show this cross body wallet/phone case, I get asked about it. So, linking it today. It’s $21 and has held up perfectly (with abuse!) for over 18 months.

This sweater is under $30! Sooo soft. It comes in several colors and color-blocks. As of this morning, this color was gone, but is coming back in stock. I like the yellow and peachy-pink, too. BUT they have THIS COLOR in the turtleneck for $29!! Look how pretty below!

These two below are ONLY $20! I added one of them to get to free shipping in my target cart. I’ve worn them both a few times now. Very comfortable and soft. Not itchy, which I was concerned about. The leopard print looks exactly like the Rachel Parcel one (more expensive)! I am showing you below.

I love grey! Variations of grey (maybe not 50 shades;) but we can start with two!

And last one above is on Amazon Prime. I LOVE this affordable turtleneck and adding it to my PRIME DAY cart tonight. Also looking at the Instapot. Who has one? Do I really need it? I used to do a ton of slow cooking, but lost my slow cooker in the divorce. Oh well… I could get this one for $79 on prime day, I think. Thoughts?

xoxo

AAJ

Healthy and Humble

GIVEAWAY INSTRUCTIONS AT END OF POST!

My grandmother is 91. She is alive and well, quick as a whip and of sound mind. Oh how I hope I live to see Hayden’s kids have kids (my Nanny has so many great-grandchildren, I’d have to map them out).  She’s taught me many life lessons over the years… but one thing that stands out health wise is what she told me about aluminum.  “Don’t put that stuff on your body, especially after you shave,” she said. “It’s not good for you in the long run.”

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That definitely stuck with me, however I didn’t fully implement her advice. I drank sodas (and occasionally still do) out of aluminum cans, I used antiperspirants with aluminum as the main active ingredient. However, a quick google search reveals mixed conclusions about how bad aluminum really is for us, so I didn’t worry about it. 

Now, I’m at a age where I’m rethinking things. If I can put less chemicals in my body or on my body, mind as well go that route, right? If you missed my last post, you may not know I’m freezing my eggs. The process involves injecting hormones to your body, so it’s important to check for any potential risks, like breast cancer or issues with your body’s detoxifying process.

Sitting in the radiology lab, undressing to get my breast squashed into a cold, very powerful machine, the technician asked, “What is this scar?”, looking at a thin faded line across my left nipple on my breast. 

“I was 12, I think. Or around there.” She continued to talk, as she could tell I was nervous. I really didn’t need to be- it wasn’t as scary or hurt as badly as I remembered the first time.

Getting my last mammogram.

Getting my last mammogram.

“Did they remove tissue and do biopsy?” she asked, as she marked it with a small sticker. Yes, they did. It was benign. I didn’t dwell on it then. I was too young. In 2017, another nodule caught my doctor’s attention during my first mammogram. It’s been something they have watched. It is still there, hence the recent followup with another mammogram. Waiting for the results to come back to see if the nodule has grown was difficult. It has not. I’m taking proper precautions… and monitoring the size with a breast specialist now , but this is what I really want you to take from all of this: There are things in life we can control and prevent and some things we may not be able to. The things we can — shouldn’t we? 

It seems wise to look at ingredients in products we put directly on skin and lymphatic system, like aluminum, dyes, parabens, etc. If you’re like me (someone that shaves), we open up those follicles with steam from our showers and razors. Then, many times, we exit the shower and within minutes are putting deodorant directly on one of our biggest lymph nodes. Could this be harmful? I’m not a doctor, and there is no solid evidence to prove me correct. There IS plenty of evidence, however, proving these ingredients leave your body through your detoxification system. Which is why the FDA requires the WARNING on the back to consult your doctor if you have kidney disease and call poison control if ingested. There is also association with aluminum and dementia. Mental health now and in the future should be a concern for all of us.

With my body detoxing so many things out there already, this is something I can alleviate. I’m not making any claims here- and I’m happy to engage in a healthy debate. I’m just sharing little changes we could make on the road to more holistic living. (See https://www.ewg.org/news-and-analysis/2019/12/antiperspirants-and-breast-cancer-there-link)

When I heard about HumbleBrands deodorant, I was weary because nothing all natural and organic ever worked for me in the past. I’ve tried MANY, but when I really needed dry protection, I would bring in the big guns- the ones with ALUMINUM. FYI: all deodorants are aluminum free- aluminum is only in antiperspirants. The trick is to find a deodorant that keeps you dry and odor free.

Humble is working for me. I stay dry. I love the variety of scents and sizes that appeals to men and women. I have a small travel size in my makeup bag for reapplication on long days on sets or just long days (find it HERE, then go to the SHOP page/ deodorant/ travel sizes. 

I got this far in this post without saying the C-word. October is breast cancer awareness month, so I’m gonna just say this.  Be aware. MEN and women. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. (see https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/male-breast-cancer/symptoms-causes/syc-20374740).

When they heard my enthusiasm for their product, our partnership made sense. I’m honored to spread the word about wellness products that work and change our lives in the long run, as my Grandmother said. Plus, they are doing a one for one this month! For every bottle of Moroccan Rose bought ($10) they donate one bottle to someone battling breast cancer. If that doesn’t give you a reason to buy one… ! Pro tip: add the travel size versions and lip balms —you will not be disappointed — and get FREE SHIPPING. (Anything over $25 garners this perk!). I’m adding these to everyone’s stocking this year for Christmas!

USE CODE ASHLEY20 FOR 20% OFF RIGHT NOW. My goal is to get this Moroccan Rose bottle to 1000 women battling breast cancer by the end of October. Join me, please. Let me know if you do;)

I don’t want to participate in fear mongering, I just want to participate in awareness and sharing thoughts. So, please, share yours!

TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY, MAKE SURE YOU LIKE THESE TWO POSTS HERE and HERE, and follow both accounts. EXTRA CREDIT IF YOU LEAVE A PINK HEART IN THE COMMENTS. 10 of you will win a care package (serious goodies!!) from HumbleBrands. You do NOT want to miss out.

xoxo

AAJ


TAKING CHARGE OF THE EGGS

Photo by: Andrew Malnar

Photo by: Andrew Malnar

Material on this website is copyrighted. No aspect of this post or any post on this site can be quoted or used without permission and/or direct links back to site.

I should be excited to finally do something I’ve wanted to do for over 10 years. However, sharing and being this vulnerable opens me up to criticism. But, there must be at least one other person out there feeling the way I do, and maybe now she’ll feel less alone.

THE WHAT

I am freezing my eggs!! I’ve had many doctor appointments lately that some of you have inquired about. Most were for this and one other health reason that I plan on discussing next week.

No reason to fill me in on all the reasons I should NOT freeze eggs at my geriatric age. A quick google search leaves me grim. I know the statistics. I know I have a beautiful, healthy child already and feel very blessed. I look back at him as a baby— how could I not want another one! I have such a heart for those that are longing for their first baby. I know this is a very sensitive subject.

Those of you that have visited the blog since the beginning know of this fertility and secondary infertility journey. Many of you helped me, given great advise and shared your own stories.

THE WHY

For me, I have always imagined at least two kids. Life did not end up like a fairy tale, so I am taking charge. While there are alternative ways to have children now, adoption being an excellent one, I still have a deep desire to biologically have one more, Lord willing. We’ve discussed this on the blog, so it’s no secret.

I searched and searched for anyone my age and their experience with egg freezing. I’m sure there are blogs out there outlining the whole thing at my stage in life, but I had trouble finding them.

Egg freezing is just that. You retrieve as many eggs as possible and hope they make it through the freezing and thawing process. No sperm is involved. No embryos are made and tested. So, most people freezing are single women doing this all by themselves. They want to have a baby at some point, but life is not allowing that to happen today. I had been shelling out thousands and thousands of dollars a month- like 10K some months- in lawyer fees for the divorce and restraining order, so I felt, what is one month dedicated to my family’s future? It is an huge investment if you pay out of pocket, so I understand. Seeing that number on my credit card statement is hard to process, but I have become used to it the past year. If you’re reading this and feel it is out of your reach financially, please do some research. There are options, especially if you are willing to travel. I was not in that position during my divorce and covid.

IF I COULD DO IT OVER

Ideally, I would have had children earlier, which I plan on discussing in another post. My second wish is having frozen my eggs earlier. Why didn’t I?  I ask myself this question often. I struggled with the idea I was “playing God.” Age and a better understanding of modern medicine has given me a different perspective on that.

THERE WAS STILL A CHANCE

My doctor, Dr. Carolyn Alexander, initially helped me after I lost my second baby. I miraculously had Hayden naturally and easily (so much so, I was writing pregnancy posts like THIS one), but my two pregnancies after him were different. Devastatingly, they ended in miscarriages. I talked about this some here in this post. The second miscarriage was further along than the first. I had told my family already and was almost ready to share with friends and here on the blog. My doctor determined the issue was most likely not with me or the egg. I still have a possibility of a healthy baby. It was my Jim Carey, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!” moment.

THE PREP

So, I started the freezing process. Technically, it could all be done fairly quickly, but I kept having delays. I had to get a list of things done first, namely a mammogram (very important) and frequent , various blood work to see hormone levels. I was too stressed with court dates and finances, out of town filming a movie last summer, wanted to detox my body a bit more… but the truth is, you gotta just go for it. I had an ultrasound to see how many follicles I had that month and it seemed ok to begin. There’s plenty of prep you can do if you have the time. I did not. I’m under then most amount of stress in my lifetime, so “lowering stress” seemed implausible. I still say the book IT STARTS WITH THE EGG is a great first step. I also wrote all the supplements that I have been told to take in this post here. I was told to cut caffeine to one cup a day. Limit sugar. No saunas or hot tubs or excessive workouts. Note: this all becomes more important when injections begin. I had not been going to acupuncture regularly, but began as soon as I could get an appointment. This is just what I have been told and only reflects my experience. Please consult your doctor before taking any supplements or following my lead in any way.

To be continued…I’m writing this as a series.

Part 2 : INJECTION PHASE AND EVERYTHING NO ONE TOLD ME- OH MY GOODNESS!

Part 3: THE RETRIEVAL AND EVERYTHING AFTER

xoxo Anything you want to share, I am reading every single comment.

AAJ

GETTING PERSONAL w/Soaps.com

This past summer, Soaps.com posted a short article. I didn’t repost because there were something private in the article that I’ve yet to discuss. I would never want anything misconstrued, twisted or used wrongly. You may not even notice what I’m referring to… might just seem like another recap of an instagram post?

I know from first hand experience, when another individual shares their journey, their vulnerability invites me in and comforts me. Community is meaningful and important. For me, it’s a gift from God, especially when community prays together. Many people on social media have reached out to me sharing their similar experiences. Some have been incredibly traumatic, sensitive and urgent topics. I try to get back to all of you. I’m sorry if I don’t…. If you choose to comment here, I read them and I hope to respond very quickly. I started a facebook group for this purpose (amongst other purposes- to connect on a more private level about our lives in general). I haven’t been active with that… but plan to revisit if there’s interest. If you are going through turmoil and choose not to respond, I hope you take comfort in knowing you are not alone, even in your darkest hour.

I’m still in the middle of my ordeal….it’s ongoing and depleting, which is hard to believe 14 months later.

I usually post some sort of photo with the posts, so here is a random one from the week, no relation to the topic.

SEE ARTICLE BELOW:

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Bold and Beautiful, General Hospital actress has come a long way.

Actress Ashley Jones, who has played Bold and Beautiful’s Bridget Forrester… since 2004, and who also appeared on General Hospital as Parker Forsyth, accepted the recent black and white challenge on social media, a campaign inspired by the soaring rates of violence against women as well as the brutal murder of a 27-year-old student named Pinar Gültekin. She used the opportunity to not only express her solidarity with Turkish women, and women who support other women, but also to reflect candidly on her own personal journey. Her heartfelt post began, “I look back on the past year and get so emotional thinking about certain tough dark times, I can barely see through my tears writing this. But here I am because God gave me the greatest support system that continually reminds me of my strength.”

The strong and talented Jones filed for divorce and a restraining order last fall against husband…amid allegations of abuse, and, happily, appears to be doing so much better. She updated, “I’m still just putting one foot in front of another, but sometimes look back and marvel- I’ve come a long way.” The actress took time in the post to thank God, her family, and added, “And thank you (you know who you are) for showing up in all the ways and ALL THE PLACES and carrying me when I simply couldn’t take another step.”

Ashley spoke to us directly saying, “It was August 17th that I had to leave my home with my son- almost a year ago. It’s interesting to look back the last year. But, Hayden is thriving and we are doing well trying to move forward and rebuild.” We are also happy to hear her report that the domestic violence restraining order became a permanent order on Feb 20, 2020….and currently has custody of their child.

Jones, who rejoined her Bold and Beautiful family for scenes that aired before the production shutdown in March, summed up her post by saying, “There is a treasure in the trauma… look for it. That is where you find your strength.” She also encouraged her followers to flood the Instagram feed with strong women and thanked “the good men out there supporting us women.”

ALL INFO REPOSTED FROM SOAPS.COM.

IS BOTOX SAFE SELF CARE?

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The response I got from a question I asked on social media was bigger than I ever expected. While I was in for a treatment at DSM Aesthetics, I asked: Have you done Botox? Over three-fourths of you said no. Not only did more people participate in the “poll” than normal, I received an overwhelming amount of DMs. So, best to respond at once— here! This is not a sponsored blog post. I’m just sharing experiences and ideas here.

A fourth of you said you have done it and would do it again. A lot of people were curious about botox, but just had never done it. Others were adamantly against it. And many of you said you would love to, but it seems too high maintenance and too expensive to keep up. Some comments were harsh and wondered why I’d want it. Am I feeling inferior right now? NOPE. Insecure? NOPE. Chasing my youth? NOPE. Can I be into wellness and still do Botox? YES.

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WELL… YES. I did get botox.  I’ve researched it in the past. Botox is a common practice now. Since the majority of you on my instagram poll have never done it, here are the reasons people get it. The neurotoxins in Botox work by temporarily blocking the signals that nerves send to the small muscles that allow you to make facial expressions, such as squinting and frowning. This blockage helps smooth out the dynamic wrinkles that are caused by repeated muscle contractions (Dr. Suzanne Bruce for BeautyWireMagazine). Botox can be used for migraines, wrinkle prevention and extremely gummy smiles as well.

I’m happy I did it. It’s something I did for myself. I got a little amount, as I still need to have complete mobility as an actress. I’ve done it before, it’s just been a while. I am not ashamed that I did it. Nor will I ever deny it. You guys know I’m pretty up front about what I do, products I use, etc. I DID NOT START TOO EARLY (IN MY early 20s) and I WEAR SUNSCREEN EVERYDAY. Two big things that can affect long term use of Botox. I waited to do this blog post because I wanted to see the full effects of the botox from DSM. Botox takes 7-14 days to see the results, but at day 8 so far, my skin looks smoother, brighter and less wrinkled. The best way to describe it is almost like a “real instagram filter.” I also got a hint of Restalyne Refyne to add a hydrated look. I’ve done my own research (some at end of this post for your reference). If it’s not your cup of tea, I respect that!! But if it IS something you’re curious about, READ ON CAUSE I GOT A GOOOOOD GIVEAWAY. Again, this is not a sponsored blog post, I’m just thrilled DSM wants to share some love with you all.

following safety protocols at DSM Aesthetics with TRISH, my girl that did the injections.

following safety protocols at DSM Aesthetics with TRISH, my girl that did the injections.

I know I put myself out there by asking questions like this and even just being on social media. And I was not offended at all. However, it made me think about judgment. How often I do it, too. Mainly to myself. Little things we say and the way we think about others really only reflect on us- not them! How nice would it be if we start celebrating each other?

One person commented the below…(actually I got lots of comments like this and I really appreciated it):

You don’t need it!! … On second thought…if it is something that would make you happy, that is what matters. You need to do what is best for you this time and moment in your life. If that’s a little Botox, go for it!

GIVEAWAY

With all that said- if this has piqued your interest and you’re able to make it to DSM Aesthetics in Santa Clarita (about 25-30 min oustide of LA), they are GIVING FIVE new patients 25 units of Botox for FREE. Please go check out the post HERE. DSM Aesthetics is asking you to tag three people that might be interested, follow their account, then call and make an appointment. The first 5 people that complete these steps receive the free treatment. IF YOU ARE A WINNER, YOUR TREATMENT DOES NOT EXPIRE. You can do it at your convenience when you are comfortable doing so.

Oh and I’d be remiss to not mention my sister turned me on to a line of products (@jordynschatte is an aesthetician in Texas and researches everything. Matter-of-fact, a few of you DM’d me asking what my sister thought of botox since people that have been following me know she is in the business. She is a proponent of botox when used properly, sparingly and for migraines or TMJ.) She saw I was at DSM Aesthetics and immediately looked them up. Next text I get from her: they have Biologique Recherche- please pick me up their P50 lotion. After inquiring about this line, I learn it’s a sought after skincare line that (supposedly) works. It’s expensive, but from what I hear, worth it. If you research it and want products, DSM ships it safely straight to your door. Give them a call! And dive into their informative BLOG, too!. Check out their recent post about facial contouring with botox here!

Scroll down for some recent articles I found informative! Any other questions you have, leave below here and I’ll be as quick as possible to answer!

ASHLEY JONES

WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE IT AND WANT TO STOP BOTOX AT SOME POINT? WHAT HAPPENS?

We know that Botox works by stopping muscle movements that create lines in our faces.  As you continue to use Botox faithfully, those lines will stay soft or will never form at all. You'll have a smooth look everywhere you've treated with Botox.  Now, there may come life events that mean you need to take a break from your Botox--like when you're pregnant or breastfeeding.  You'll notice your lines coming back during those months that you aren't having your regular Botox treatments.  Once you start your Botox treatments again, though, you'll be smooth again.

If there is some reason you decide to never have Botox again (WHY would you do that to yourself:), then you'll find that the lines you've been preventing start to get deeper with muscle movement and eventually become creases in your skin. The benefits of your prior Botox treatments will eventually be gone, but you would still have gained all the wrinkle-free years you got from your prior Botox treatments. (From Dr. Kavali’s site)

WHAT ARE THE LONG TERM EFFECTS AND CAN THEY BE PREVENTED?

Your Skin Might Become Visibly Thinner 

Wexler says that some patients complain of a visible thinning of the skin after many years of Botox use. That might mean exposure of subdermal veins between areas of normal thickness. This isn't common, but Wexler says that patients who start Botox "too early," like in their early 20s, can be at risk for this side effect. In these cases, "The skin of the forehead [can] get prematurely thinner, and muscles weaker," she says. Sometimes, after many years of use, this can even result in the look of heavier brows and eyelids, "making the toxin actually more difficult to continue using."

Mild Discoloration or a "Wavy" Texture Could Appear 

Again, not typical, but Wexler says that with the skin thinning, some patients notice "a visible waviness of the skin overlying the muscles treated," as well as discoloration. "On expression, the forehead may even appear like hills and valleys," she says.

Luckily, this side effect is totally preventable. "[It] can be avoided by changing the pattern of injection to give smaller amounts of toxin in a more uniform distribution to get an identical effect without this problem, or stopping the toxin for an extended period of time," Wexler says.

You May Need Less Botox Over Time 

Years of Botox use may mean you'll need less and less for maintenance over time. "With appropriate frequency and amount, your muscles become less strong and you may not need as much Botox or need it as frequently," Farber says. "When your muscles are 'trained' not to move, it helps with the aging process and preventing wrinkles." 

You'll Still Look Years Younger Even If You Stop 

"Many people fear that their faces will become dramatically wrinkled when they stop Botox. If you choose not to continue…those muscles staying out of use while Botox is active can delay the aging process; it reduces movement when injected, slowing the formation of wrinkles," Farber explains. In other words, your skin won't develop lines overnight to make up for lost time—you'll still enjoy looking years younger relative to your age, depending on how long you kept a Botox regimen.

Skin Will Look Brighter and Less Wrinkled 

Aside from what can happen after long-term use of Botox, one thing is for sure: "If you continuously get Botox for 10+ years you will certainly look much younger and have fewer wrinkles," promises Debra Jaliman, M.D., a New York City–based dermatologist. "Your skin will look much smoother and the appearance of fine lines and deep wrinkles will be greatly diminished." (From BYRDIE here)

CATALINA ISLAND!

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Sometimes the greatest experiences in life were never even planned.

I got so many questions from you all when we went to Catalina Island I decided to just jot stuff down here;)

Nana and Papa were tireless caretakers of Hayden while I was working on the Lifetime movie. So, as a reprieve from the LA heat and lockdowns, we jetted off to Catalina, or more accurately - boated! For an incredibly last minute trip to a place none of us had ever been, the excursion will be filed in our memories under “perfect.”  It’s a fabulous little getaway. Much like our trip to the snow earlier this year. I’ve lived in LA over 25 years and have never come down to this island. How this destination slipped though my fingers, I’ll never know. Plus, my dad has always wanted to visit Catalina- next time we’ll go fishing, dad! My earliest memories in life were trips to see my grandparents and extended family. Love that Hayden is making so many memories with his Nana and Papa. Grateful they make so many sacrifices to spend as much time with him as possible.

First things first:

COVID PROTOCOLS

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The whole experience was safe from the boat ride on Catalina Express to the restaurants. You are required to wear masks the entire trip on the boat, in public places on the island, or around other people outside of your household. Many, many restaurants on Avalon open for outdoor seating, as well as outdoor activities. Shopping is available at limited capacity.

TRANSPORTATION:

BOOK YOUR TRAVEL: CATALINA EXPRESS worked very well for us. There is a submarine that I plan on taking next time. The VIP space is worth it… you board first and can sit with ample space, but also move about the boat and go outside. It’s about a 45-50 minute boat ride from Long Beach, where we boarded.

Once you arrive: if you cannot check into your hotel right away, or you are only there for the day and want a place to keep some items at different points throughout the day, the luggage check right at the boat dock is invaluable. We learned this a bit late, so don’t make our mistake. They will come drop off your luggage to your destination or pick it up for you upon check out; it’s totally affordable.

EXPLORE

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FYI: jumper is sold out, but similar ones linked below. I really wish I had worn white tennis shoes instead of my black running shoes, but I wasn’t the best packer on this excursion.

Now, I’m not super familiar with this place, but our time wondering around was well spent. We walked to the Descanso Gardens passed the stunning Catalina Casino. If you keep walking, you’ll find a full adventure park (zip-lining, etc. I’m DOING THIS next time! It looked safe and fun). Keep going and you’ll find yourself hiking a bit up the mountain where we saw an entire family of deer.

I’ve been told next time I need to check out Wrigley’s Mansion (or the bed and breakfast pictured below here). Also, I will most definitely visit the museum to learn more about the history. Speaking of….

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HISTORY

Italized Excerpt from PeterGreenberg.com

After the land changed hands from the Spain to the United States in the late 1800s, it was eventually bought by William Wrigley (of Wrigley chewing gum fame) in 1919, who immediately set out on investing in the island to make Catalina a tourist destination. The small town of Avalon was erected, along with the Casino Ballroom in 1929. The early 1900s was a golden age for Catalina—movie stars flocked to the island to relax and hide away from fans.

Charlie Chaplin fished off his boat, Humphrey Bogart and Errol Flynn would frequent the island, and even Winston Churchill came to fish, famously catching a marlin in 20 minutes. According to Catalina Island MuseumExecutive Director Michael De Marsche, John Wayne “would walk around, wave to the kids, walk into the local eatery or establishment, have a couple of drinks, come out with handful of quarters, and would throw them to the kids, who would dive in the water after them.”

In 1925, buffalo were brought over for the filming of Zane Grey’s THE VANISHING AMERICAN. The crew left the buffalo there and they are now a symbol of the island!

After Pearl Harbor was bombed, the island became a military base for quite some time. It eventually returned to a tourist and celebrity destination. Sadly, Natalie Wood’s drowing off a boat on the coast made international headlines.

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EAT

We HIGHLY recommend the Bluewater Grill. It is right on the water and everything we ordered was perfect (and we can be picky!). I could eat their baked fish tacos everyday! We heard Avalon Grille is amazing, but it was not reopened yet.

“M” restaurant looked lovely and I heard amazing things about it as well.

But, you will not go hungry! Restaurants are plentiful and most overlook the Pacific. Maggie’s Mexican will be on the list next time;) Currently, you must eat outdoors (a mandate in Los Angeles), but that works perfectly in Catalina.

GOLF CARTS

Had we planned a bit better, we would have reserved a cart to explore the island. You can rent by the hour and request ones with seat belts (especially fo the little ones!). So, my to-do list for the next trip has started. And there will be a next trip, hopefully sooner than later. We didn’t think to reserve one and they got completely booked!!

Don’t wait as long as we did! If you’re in the area, carve out a day or two and go visit Southern California’s little escape! Yes, it’s touristy, but fun every once in a while. If you have any questions about it, ask away! Also, if you’ve been and have other ideas to add for my next time there, please let me know!

xoxo AAJ

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Rocking Roku END OF SUMMER

UPDATE ON WINNERS: CONGRATS! Because so many entered, Roku is sending out TWO ROKU ULTRA PLAYERS. I wish everyone could win! I really do. Please stay tuned—- more great giveaways to come! “Charleen” and “To Old For This” —- YOU WON! PLEASE SEND AN EMAIL via the contact section OR DM ME WITH YOUR BEST ADDRESS.


A rockin’ roku end of summer…

The final month of summer is here and what are we to do? It seems many states are still only partially open, if that. So…. I wanted to offer one thing that might help entertain the family now and in the future. Keep reading!

But first, I wanted to say hello cause it’s been a busy time and I haven’t posted here in a while.

I’m finally working as an actress again, HALLELUJAH! The protocols are in place. We have different zones for people on set depending on risk factors. For instance, actors interact while filming without masks, so are at a higher risk level. Makeup artists are close, etc, so also at risk. Masks and in some instances shields are worn unless on camera and most importantly- we get tested ALL THE TIME. There is protocol set for 3 times a week if working 5 days. So, a revolving door of civid-testing is taking place! And now it’s becoming the new norm for work! I could go into all the grim details of protocol, but I would bore you because there are PAGES filled with disinfectant orders, gloves, distancing, etc. If you’re dying to hear it, lemme know and I’ll share! 

As I mentioned on my post HERE on instagram, I’m not back on B&B (not to say that won’t happen at some point. Another exciting endeavor is happening, but until we are allowed to share, I can’t- just hope it all comes to fruition). However, I am filming a Lifetime movie. A thriller. I can’t wait to share all the details— who I am working with,  etc.- but I have to wait for the green light to do so. Just glad to be back on set, collaborating with the director and other actors and making more movies for you all! 

I’m also shadowing the director when appropriate. It’s a very cool experience to have a director willing to teach, show you the ropes and prepare me for my own directing adventure. I am incredibly grateful to learn from all the directors of my past, and especially this one that is truly patient with my myriad of questions!!

Now about YOU…. I want you to be able to watch all your favorite shows in style! ROKU wants to send one of you one of their Roku Ultra Streaming Players.

What I love about this are the personal touches they enabled. You can create your own personal shortcuts to stream your favorite playlist, find your favorite shows, actors, etc. I’ll list all the best points below. To enter, it’s simple. Leave a comment here! That’s it! For extra entry, make sure you are subscriber here. I know I have never done much with the email list, but some good stuff is in the works for the next few months.

Ok… so about the Roku!

  • Roku Ultra is the ultimate streaming player delivering brilliant picture quality and channels that launch faster than ever

  • Enhanced voice remote – Includes personal shortcut buttons, TV controls, lost remote finder, and premium JBL headphones for private listening

  • Endless entertainment – Stream what you love, including free TV, live news, sports, and 500,000+ movies and TV episodes across thousands of free and paid channels

  • Offers the ultimate connectivity – No matter what you’re streaming, enjoy a strong connection with dual-band wireless—or use the Ethernet port for wired streaming

  • Personal shortcuts – Set personal shortcuts using your voice for one-touch control, so you can do things like launch your favorite playlist, search for your favorite actor, and more in one press.

  • Winner will be announced here on Saturday Aug 1st. Good luck!

Hope you all are staying safe and happy.

xoxo

AAJ

OH, THE PLACES WE'LL GO...

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This post is sponsored by Kelley Blue Book; all thoughts are my own.

It’s no secret I’m a fan. I’ve partnered with them in the past because I appreciate their resources, and today I am proud to team up with them again. 

Some of my favorite memories of growing up were from the back seat of our family car. Whether we were driving over the hill and through the woods to grandmother’s house… or whipping through the narrow terrain of the Colorado mountains, we were together. An air of excitement barely kept me in my seat as I looked out the window seeing the beauty of God’s landscape. 

As the Doobie Brothers blared from the cassette tape, I can still hear my dad singing “what a fool believes….he sees… no wise man has the power.” To this day that song conjures such nostalgia in me. Only years later would I realize how sad the lyrics really are!!

Hayden turned four and he’s thrilled to get to help me plan our first road trip post quarantine. I know he is the age where these memories will be embedded in his mind. We are meeting friends and family in the California mountains up near Big Bear and making a few stops along the way. I have such plans for us in the future… I can’t wait to take him to see the Grand Canyon. Actually, I can’t wait to see the Grand Canyon for the first time myself!! 

I just ordered a map of California to let Hayden see exactly where we will be exploring, where the lakes are, and “map” out how we will get there. (By the way, this is educational and a great activity for the kids… I’m also getting one of the United States so he can see how to get to Nana and Papa’s city and where all of our relatives and family live.) He loves to pack his suitcase and decide what necessary items he can’t live without during our trip. Since we’ve been home for so long, any outing is a reason for him to put on a tie! 

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For our first excursion, it’ll just be Hayden, Oscar and me (although I’m trying to get my sister to join us!), so I want to make sure we have the safest ride possible. Although it’s fun to plan, I have to be smart. As a single woman and a new single mom, I feel an extra level of responsibility to be prepared.

Kelley Blue Book has proved to be invaluable in the past and I lean on them again now. There’s a new Auto Repair Guide, similar to their Price Advisor, guiding you and me on repair and service price ranges. Am I the only one that still calls their dad when they can get a price on service repairs? It’s always higher than I expect!! Now I’m taking advantage of resources available at my fingertips. The fair repair range shows you what you should expect to pay for common repairs and maintenance. If you go to Kelley Blue Book’s Auto Repair Guide,  in the top right corner, there is menu bar. After clicking, you can scroll down to see car recalls, service and pricing, maintenance pricing and auto shops near you. 

Just like I don’t want to venture up into the mountains with my son unprepared, I don’t like going into an auto shop unprepared wondering if I’m being overcharged. As much as I’d like to believe no one would take advantage of a single woman, the best way to avoid that is with knowledge. So, please join me in empowering ourselves! Also, it’s so easy to get a second quote by just calling another dealership or auto shop and asking questions. Use Kelley Blue Book! If you are quoted a much higher price range, Tell the mechanics that Kelley Blue Book gave you a different concept. Wouldn’t you rather use the saved money on that road trip?

I look at the sweetest boy I’ve ever known and wonder what song he will remember me playing in the car when he grows up. He brought up our road trip recently to see the California poppies, our drive out to the beach recently, and our day trip we took last winter with his grandparents. As he begs me to roll down the window for a moment so he can “feel the cool breeze in his hair” I realize his mind is taking snapshots of our lives, of all the places we go, of choices I make right now. I pray I make good ones for him during this time of uncertainty in our world and beyond.

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What are your summer plans? Are you hoping to safely venture out or are you planning more of a shelter-at-home staycation? Love hearing your ideas.

xo

AAJ

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HOW WELL ARE YOU?

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WELCOME!

A few weeks ago, on my instagram stories, I started talking about carving out my own HOLISTIC WELLNESS PLAN. I’ve recently had some doctor’s appointments checking blood work, etc. (read post about that here) that were fine, but I wasn’t feeling great. Two dear friends (thanks Bri Cuoco and Kaley Cuoco) sat me down and SERIOUSLY analyzed every ounce of what I was putting in my body. I’ve had countless people discuss wellness and I’ve read a great deal about the topic over the years. I’m grateful because it’s cumulative. Every one of those people/books planted seeds.

The instagram story that sparked interest was over an OAT MILK latte. Many of you had questions- some offered advice. Why oat milk? No dairy? What else are you giving up? Will you ever have cheese again?

I am changing things up! No more cow’s milk for me or my hot chocolate powder with marshmallows. YES— for about 20 years I’ve had hot chocolate powder with marshmallows in my coffee EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. Not to say I won’t ever have a mocha again, but it will be a treat, not the norm. I’m not gonna lie to you, the oat milk was different at first. But, two weeks in— I like it. I tried almond milk, but I like to steam and froth the milk and almond doesn’t seem to work as well. 

Lemme start from the beginning, and maybe you want to walk through this with me, too?

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

WHY ARE YOU DESIRING CHANGE?

ME: overall health, feeling tired, bloated tummy, breakouts and bumps on arms, feel better about myself

WHAT ARE YOUR HEALTH GOALS?

ME: more energy, less anxiety, better sleep, longer life

TAKE Literal INVENTORY in your pantry and fridge. WHAT WILL YOU NOT ALLOW IN THE HOUSE ANY MORE? (side note: I have some things for Hayden, so this requires discipline!)

ME: diet sodas, too much sugar, gluten, processed foods, dairy. No more string cheese (I love these!!!) Not to say I won’t ever eat or drink these things, just not going to have them readily available.

WHAT NEW ITEMS WILL BE STAPLES?

ME: whole foods, fresh foods, SPICES, more plant based

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TIPS THAT ARE HELPNG ME 

BABY STEPS.

I will do better today than I did yesterday. This is a lifestyle change (marathon), not a race. AND IT IS ABOUT FEELING BETTER, NOT being a smaller size.

MAKE IT FUN.

If you can, grow your own food. Go to farmer’s market. Go to a farm to pick your fruit one day. Find great recipes and make them your own.

DIY SUPPORT GROUPS

Even if it’s you and your mom! Or a group of three on text chain (that’s what mine is with my girlfriends, just the three of us. And they check in constantly. Like, several times a day.

FOLLOW INSPIRATIONAL PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Find the tribe that will keep you going or give you new ideas! SHARE YOUR FAVORITES WITH ME, PLEASE! twitter, fb, or instagram and pinterest.

HERE ARE A FEW I AM FOLLOWING FOR INSPIRATION. Take what works for you, weed out the rest.

@KIMSHAPIRAMETHOD

@MAXLUGAVERE

@ERINOPREA

@MEDICALMEDIUM

@CALORIESTUTORIAL

Over the next few weeks, I’ll write more about this topic, but thought these questions would be a good place for us to all start. Would you all be interested in knowing exact overhauls Bri and Kaley insisted on me making (exact products, foods, recipes, exercise ideas, etc)? 

LMK. Also, thanks for being here. Your involvement inspires me.

xoxo AAJ

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