Experiencing Loss

This past  week was full of loss on different levels. I’m not ready to open up about all of it, but one specific aspect I feel strongly about sharing, even if only one of you needs to hear it.

Before doing so, though, you must know how grateful my family is for all the prayers about my sister’s brother-in-law, Logan Schatte. I’m so happy to report that prayers have been answered. While there still a long road to full recovery, Logan’s young life was spared. Praise God for that. Thank you for those of you that have asked about him. I can’t get back to every DMs, which is why I like being able to communicate on this blog.

While Logan was released from ICU this week, another friend, Jenna Wittman, went into intensive care, but tragically did not have the same outcome. Jenna was a beloved member of the Bell Family, a wonderful makeup artist. I had known Jenna since my first day on Y&R, where I sat in the makeup chair next to her as she did sweet Sabryn Genet’s makeup (see Sabryn’s post HERE). We were close, the three of us. Jenna loved to make others happy, make people laugh.

In recent years, she made up some of your favorite faces on CBS soaps and some talk show hosts. See Melody Thomas Scott’s post about her HERE. And our B&B producer, Casey Kasprzyk, shared HERE.

I could go on and on about things I’d love to reminisce with her over the past few decades: our trip to NY, long days on sets, getting to chat with Stephen King. But that’s my point, memories that keep popping in my mind that I’d like to share with HER, but no longer can… heartbreaking she went so fast, but I know she feels the outpouring of love from those of us left here on Earth. 

Forgive such a sad post, for it should be more of a celebration of a life. What I’m wanting to convey is this: say the things you want to say now, in the living years. And in case you’re like me and need one extra reminder, let some stuff go. Find the beauty in today. If you are experiencing loss or devastation of your own, my heart goes out to you. There’s no great way around it, just through it. Everyone grieves differently, in their own time. And sometimes we grieve what could have been, what should have been. But you are not alone.

THE LORD IS CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.

Psalm 34:18

Hugs.

xox

AAJ

30 years ago...HAPPY BIRTHDAY WORLD (WIDE WEB).

Since you are here on this site, you might have already opened google. If you haven’t yet, you inevitably will.  And then you’ll see Google is celebrating 30 years of the world wide web!

Well, that makes me feel old. Do you remember where you were the first time you plugged in to “dial up?” That bee-bo-bop-oh, ch-ch-beep sound. I remember getting those AOL disks in the mail and doing free trials. What is all the fuss about? It’s alien to my preteen-age brain. 

I also remember my parents not loving the idea for us kids. I don’t recall specifics- but now that I am a parent, I can only imagine what they were thinking. We want to protect our children any way we know how. And this was a totally unknown connection to strangers (and expensive…remember?)!

This thing we all are so accustomed to now certainly changed the world. Forever. Made it smaller in some ways for some people and much larger in ways for others. You? How has it affected your world? 

Ironically, I was forced to think about this last night. Joel went to a concert, Hayden was asleep and I had big plans to work in bed (with Bachelor on in the background, since we all knew what was happening anyway)— but our internet wasn’t connecting properly for a bit and messed up the tv, too. Immediately I felt disconnected, frustrated, and annoyed. Like… how can I go all night without the internet? 

It rebooted and all was normal again.

Just 30 short years ago…. before cell phones, social media, kindle, netflix, and even before the world wide web, there was the dewey decimal system. And snail mail. And newspapers. And coffee where we just had words with friends (like actual words, not the game on our phones).  And pagers! Remember pagers? I’ll never forget getting those beeps on my pager driving back to Pepperdine from my audition for THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS. I got off the freeway to use a payphone and hear the good news.

I love this “connected” stuff as much as the next person, but to celebrate the 30th birthday, I might go offline. Go crazy like it’s 1989.

At least for a few hours. 

Daytime Girlfriends

All photos by Holly Brown @hollymbp for Ographr.com

Do you guys remember the Facebook live with Joel and an Awair expert? It was my first live video like that and I didn't know how the live video all worked, but it was fun!! I loved seeing all your comments and questions. Thank you! 

All photos: Holly Brown for @Ographr

After the live video, I hosted some girlfriends with GoodCarmaStudio for good food (thanks to Lemonade), drinks and conversation. We even had a bling counter compliments of EmmaJCo. We chatted and learned how a little "awairness" can contribute to cleaner air for us and our children. I was also grateful that we brought in the Creative Coalition. I admire how they're fighting for arts in our children's daily lives. Since Huck started kindergarten in an excellent public school, I'm able to see their hard work come to fruition. I want every child in every school across the country to get the same opportunities. Some of you already saw the instastory on the hair tie bracelet by Maria Shireen. A portion of the proceeds are going toward the Creative Coalition. I'm happy to support people that are giving back! Some of you already have your bracelets. Know you helped a wonderful organization keep going!! Thanks, US Weekly for spreading the word. 

Also, thank you to CelebrityBabyScoop for covering our day, too.

So--- now about the girlie day. I got to visit with friends I've known and worked with back when I was a teenager! I remember the scenes I was doing with Jennifer Garies and Sharon Case... I never had scenes with Tamara Clatterbuck (did I?), but we were friends. I can't help but smile when I think about it all. Especially my sister on Y&R, Sabryn Genet. Time seems to just fly by us. And I adore my B&B family (which also includes Jen!). Jacqueline Wood and Kelly Kruger are two ladies I could hang out with all day everyday. 

Sharon was the first to arrive (which doesn't surprise me... she was usually the first on set, too) so, we got a chance to catch up.  I admire that habit of hers. I can think of other friends that are like this- early or on time for almost everything.... wanna take a guess who they are?

It's the strange thing about being an actor. You get extremely close to these people on a show. So, these people really feel like family to you. They've seen you at your best and worst and everything in between. Then, business takes you to another project and you don't see each other as much. Luckily, we're all based in Los Angeles. One last little note- isn't it lovely when your worlds come together. I enjoyed seeing Ali and Amy chat with my other girlfriends!

We moved into this house not long ago...I still feel like it's not finished, but realized it doesn't matter if it's all ready or not. What does matter are the memories we are starting to create and this was a special day.