Experiencing Loss

This past  week was full of loss on different levels. I’m not ready to open up about all of it, but one specific aspect I feel strongly about sharing, even if only one of you needs to hear it.

Before doing so, though, you must know how grateful my family is for all the prayers about my sister’s brother-in-law, Logan Schatte. I’m so happy to report that prayers have been answered. While there still a long road to full recovery, Logan’s young life was spared. Praise God for that. Thank you for those of you that have asked about him. I can’t get back to every DMs, which is why I like being able to communicate on this blog.

While Logan was released from ICU this week, another friend, Jenna Wittman, went into intensive care, but tragically did not have the same outcome. Jenna was a beloved member of the Bell Family, a wonderful makeup artist. I had known Jenna since my first day on Y&R, where I sat in the makeup chair next to her as she did sweet Sabryn Genet’s makeup (see Sabryn’s post HERE). We were close, the three of us. Jenna loved to make others happy, make people laugh.

In recent years, she made up some of your favorite faces on CBS soaps and some talk show hosts. See Melody Thomas Scott’s post about her HERE. And our B&B producer, Casey Kasprzyk, shared HERE.

I could go on and on about things I’d love to reminisce with her over the past few decades: our trip to NY, long days on sets, getting to chat with Stephen King. But that’s my point, memories that keep popping in my mind that I’d like to share with HER, but no longer can… heartbreaking she went so fast, but I know she feels the outpouring of love from those of us left here on Earth. 

Forgive such a sad post, for it should be more of a celebration of a life. What I’m wanting to convey is this: say the things you want to say now, in the living years. And in case you’re like me and need one extra reminder, let some stuff go. Find the beauty in today. If you are experiencing loss or devastation of your own, my heart goes out to you. There’s no great way around it, just through it. Everyone grieves differently, in their own time. And sometimes we grieve what could have been, what should have been. But you are not alone.

THE LORD IS CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.

Psalm 34:18

Hugs.

xox

AAJ

Touching Base

I feel compelled to say thank you at times. Today is one of those times. Thank you to many of you that were so supportive of the recent visit back to The Bold and Beautiful. I appreciate all the comments and tweets showing your support. Perhaps we'll see more of Bridget on the horizon very soon... It's pretty nice to go to a place that you love with people you truly want to work with. I don't take that for granted when it happens anywhere. 

My favorite thing is how the cast and crew support each other. John McCook (my dad!) has a very cool dressing room close to set. On long days shooting scenes like weddings, he allows us to congregate in there on breaks. He has been so inclusive to every member of the cast since day one. I love quickly catching up with everyone while lounging on his sofas. 

A great deal of you ask about Parker often. With Lexi back on the horizon, (and much talk of Parker on the show recently) there are questions about "Pristina." I did get to chat with Frank Valentini, executive producer of GH, recently at an Emmy event. He wasn't able to confirm any future thoughts about Kristina or Parker, but what's great about the soap genre is this: things change all the time with the stroke of a pen from the writers. People can even "DIE" and come back to LIFE (hello, Hunter Tylo). I truly don't know what their plans are for Parker. Do I think it makes sense to Kristina and Parker on screen together figuring out whatever issues they may or may not have? Sure, of course. I believe there's story left to tell. But, from a production standpoint, there's a whole puzzle of characters to place every week in storylines that keep Port Charles alive and dramatic and fun to watch. This may sound like a politically correct response, but having been on the other side of the camera from time to time, I understand. 

I'm happy to be filming a movie for Lifetime in September. It's a VERY different kind of character. One I've never really played before. Looking forward to spilling the beans as soon as I get the go ahead. I'll be shooting on location in Canada. Excited to go back to the east coast up there. 

Until then... thanks for visiting here. I like sharing ideas, mom stories, fashion choices, favorite products, etc. Always love your ideas, too. Hoping to upgrade the look of the blog soon, but for now, it's simple and straightforward. Curious of any ideas you all have come across for inspiration to update the look here? 

And last but not least, thanks to Soap Digest for the recent cover "casting news." Looking forward to being on your screens more soon. Your emails, comments, tweets and facebook messages get noticed by the powers that be (and ME), so thank you for voicing your thoughts. How would you want these characters to come back into the fold on your favorite show? Fun to hear sometimes.

Now, off to bed. Up early with Hayden and to learn lines for an audition. Magnum P.I.!!

Let Go, Let GOD.

I mentioned a bit ago that I would write an update on "life and work." You all have been so supportive asking. You have no idea how much that means to me. So, here goes. 

A couple of great opportunities came my way work wise. I normally don't discuss this stuff, but for some reason, I feel compelled. Let me explain why. A wonderful role became available on a soap I've never been on (a network television soap, so if you do the math, it's easy to figure out). I ended up testing with a group of amazing women, most of whom you would know if you are soap fans. For those of you that are curious about the definition of testing? The casting directors, producers and network narrow down their choices to usually two or three (in this case it was more than a handful). Then, you show up on set and shoot a scene as if it were a usual tape day. The ladies testing worked opposite one of the show's stars (not sure if I'm allowed to say who yet, so I'll refrain). I woke up at 4:30am. Did a bit of hair...put on some makeup. I had my bag and dress I wanted to wear already in the car (I later wore the same dress to the Emmy parties the following weekend). My call time was 6am in Burbank at the studios where they have taped this show for years. You rehearse, then wait, then head to makeup for touch ups, then wait, etc. Finally, you're called to set and tape the scene. Around 9am it was all over. The tapes go to all the "heads of everything." Producers, writers, network people, etc. They figure out exactly what works for them at that time. You get one shot, by the way. No re-shoots. It's a lot of build up for about 2-3 minutes of delivery.

It was a great experience and you have to hope for the best once you walk away from your test. Any type of test. I've done this many times. Sometimes you get that job, sometimes life takes you in a "different direction."  The quotes at the end of the last sentence symbolize the words actors have heard for years when it doesn't go their way. They simply went "a different direction." 

I love the soap world. I love soap fans. I love getting up to go to work in LA and come home to my family. But, that role wasn't meant for me. I have to take a deep breath and let it all go. Let go, and let God handle it.  Not gonna lie, it's not always easy to swallow. But, it just means I am meant to be somewhere else. Or back on a show I've been on before? Maybe. Just maybe.

Then, another great opportunity came up to be considered for on Hulu. A-List actors. George Clooney directing. The script was stellar. But, there was nudity involved. For my own reasons, it wasn't right for me. 

UGH!!! Back to the drawing board. I know that every time a door closes, you can just open it again because, well--- it's just a door. Timing is everything! If you're in a frustrated spot too, keep your chin up, do your preparation, then open that door again.  

Something has came up for June. I have to get permission to discuss it, but it's fun and dare I say... creepy! Ha!

But, know that I am hoping to be back on your screens soon enough...one way or another. 

And personally, the last couple of months have been interesting. Hard interesting. Having a blended family can be wonderful. It can also present challenges. Since many of you have asked and DM'd why Huck hasn't been in pictures lately, I also feel compelled to bring that up, too. Let's just say we're hoping to have our family all together again soon. I know some of you have shared journeys going through similar experiences, which I have appreciated. I'm grateful for all the good going on in my life, too. My family. My friends. My husband. Hayden is PURE JOY. Our time in Texas was very special. 

If you're in a season of frustration, know that this, too, shall pass. God has something bigger in store for us. Beyond anything we could imagine.  It's one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Ephesians 3:20. And if you wanna share anything in the comments below so we can all encourage each other, please do. I will be reading them later today. 

Big hugs to all.

xoxo

AAJ

ps- the dress I discuss is on sale under $100 for those that need a fun wedding dress! 

And I there's this post with details on the pictures;) Or click below.