A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO GROWING BABY
/Somewhere along the pregnancy journey, things that could have driven me crazy started making me laugh. I can only imagine most women have their own list of funny tidbits, too.
Oscar in the car on the way home from the unnecessary vet visit!
1) You smell everything. Literally. They could replace drug dogs with pregnant women in the TSA lines. I feel like I have a superpower! But, the novelty of it quickly fades. I'm left smelling the dirty clothes in the laundry. Or what the neighbors are having for dinner. Matter-of-fact, I took Oscar to the vet because I was convinced I could smell a strange odor... They literally told me it was because I was pregnant, I was smelling odors that no one else would/could ever smell. For real?? Not fun. My husband is over the constant commentary. And it only gets stronger for me as the weeks go by.
2) Speaking of weeks, that's how we talk. We speak in weeks. "Oh, how many weeks are you?" Or, " I'm almost 34 weeks." I'm used to it now, but so strange at first. I'm constantly doing the math when people ask how far along I am. If you say 34 weeks to someone that has never been pregnant, you can see the calculator popping up in their heads dividing by 4. Then and only then do you get a reaction. OHHHH. You're 8 months. But, amongst the pregnant community and mothers (which is basically my girl squad minus two), we use week speak.
3) ANGLES AND OUTFITS. I definitely look ready to pop in some pictures, but from certain angles, it's not as shocking. Clothing can trick the eye, too.
4) I spent the majority of my life believing babies are formed in 9 months. That's wishful thinking. That would make the incubation time only 36 weeks. Full total term is 10 months. 40 weeks. Why the lies all these years? I don't know. The doctors go by the menstrual cycle, and that adds extra weeks, I guess. I can't tell you how many people on social media think they need to correct me when I've hashtagged #38weeks, or #39weekspregnant. Pretty funny.
5) Not every women gets "the line" down the middle of their belly. I don't have it. I feel cheated. I keep looking for my line! Will it come the last few days? I thought I saw it today, but it was just the indention my leggings left.
6) The body is miraculous. The uterus expands and stretches in ways that's hard to comprehend. With it comes these beautiful little lines for us to always remember this time...stretch marks. I've managed to keep them at bay for the most part, but they are starting to pop in in strange places... I thought they would just be on the tummy, but nooooo, they can creep up anywhere!
READ: PREGNANCY LIST OF STAPLES I'M COMPILING! PART ONE & PART TWO.
7) You might look like a MMA fighter (I Do) after flossing your tender gums. Who knew?? I discuss this in the People.com blog, too. I was incredibly worried during my first trimester from the intensity of the sensitivity. But, everyone will assure you it's fine. See your dentist often (insurance usually covers more than one visit during pregnancy) and smile through the blood. It's creepy. Note: it subsided in my second trimester, only to recently return toward the end of my pregnancy. Oh, joy.
8) I am currently discovering something I've never heard of before: back labor!? These intense back spasms!? How have I gone through life with my best friends having kids and I never heard of this. Lemme tell you how fun these are!
9) I've been told I will still look pregnant AFTER having the baby as the body transitions back to normal. I've learned the hard way not to ask women when they are due, just in case THEY JUST HAD THE BABY. I've also learned not to ask women if they are pregnant at all! Dylan Dreyer broke the pregnancy rule! On the TODAY show this morning she said to June Diane Raphael (from Netflix's GRACE AND FRANKIE), "You are clearly pregnant in real life." And June responded, "Noooo. I had dessert last night, but no! That's a little rude.... " Then said, "I choose to not ask people until there's a baby coming out of them."
June Diane RAphael
I went through a long stage where I knew people wanted to ask if I were pregnant, but refrained. Sometimes I'd volunteer the info... but I have learned to not ask anyone until it is SO obvious, or until they volunteer the information. The funniest part was that June went on with the rest of the interview and never came clean!
AND TAKEN FROM YOUR COMMENTS OR EMAILS!!
Funny Tidbits...When the baby is constantly moving, you can see the hands, the feet and butt pressing against you and you happen to be in a meeting and your colleagues notice from across the room. -RACHEL O.
YOU WILL GO THROUGH MONTHS OF FEELING PREGNANT BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY LOOK PREGNANT. THEN YOU GO THROUGH THE MAJORITY OF YOUR SECOND TRIMESTER WHERE PEOPLE ARE SCARED TO ASSUME YOU ARE PREGNANT, SO NO ONE WILL OPEN A DOOR, HOLD A DOOR, LET YOU CUT IN LINE AT THE BATHROOM, NONE OF IT. BY THE TIME YOU FINALLY GET THE "PERKS" OF PREGNANCY, IT'S ALMOST OVER. -SUSAN B.
Don't try to any hanky panky after your water breaks. You can get an infection and give it to the baby. Within 24 hours after water breaking, you will go into labor or the doctor will induce. - Alison J
(that last one is HILARIOUS to me. If I am seriously contemplating anything intimate after my water breaks...wow. I guess it happens?)
Email us or leave a comment with YOUR funny stories/thoughts. We'll add them here!
