For any new followers to the blog that may not know our whole story, Hayden has a brother. I was Huck’s stepmom/ bonus mom for three and half years. I met him when he was two. His dad and I married when he was 3. Huck is a huge part of my life. But what happens after filing for divorce becomes necessary/mandatory?

Hayden barely calls his brother “Huck.” He almost always says “my brother,” or sometimes “brodder.” It’s pretty cute. Huck will forever be Hayden’s brother. What’s strange, though, is Huck is not my bonus child/stepson any longer. Not really. Perhaps on paper for practical purposes like health insurance.

He’s always had a present mom. But, Huck is a part of our/my family. The modern blended family, if you will. That is all the matters. I thought blended family was confusing enough, but now, it’s taken on a newer shape. It’s a lot of change for me to process. I can only imagine from the mind of a 7 year-old and a 3 year-old. Who has been through this type of structural family change?

For those of you that have boys/children around these ages, please give us fun ideas to do with them together now that they are older. We are making a list. Sometimes it’s hard because Hayden is too young for activities or movies. He’s still considered a toddler, right? Or do we have to move into pre-schooler at 3? Noooo… not yet! LOL. And Huck is now more interested in older, more adventurous (almost) pre-teen type of activities. Huck is hanging with Hayden and I again tonight, so I’ll be checking your ides. Even movies they would both enjoy— send over ideas, please! I’m thinking for Friday night movie night- Toy Story!

I’ve received many of your messages you DM me or email via the blog asking about the boys. I try to read each and every one of them when I can. The situation is sensitive for me to discuss for obvious (and legal) reasons so I do not, but I can say these brothers DO see each other. They facetime, too, and are making plenty of memories together since life took a turn for them in August. Their mamas make sure of it;) And that is what happens after divorce. You figure out how to make your particular situation work best for the children. Ours is very tricky in ways I cannot explain right now. I appreciate those of you that have been where we are and sharing your experiences. My eyes are not dry after reading them. As I mentioned before, I’m hoping to create some sort of a private group “forum” space for us to share these ideas/experiences, SUCCESSES and simply tell our stories. Where are you from? Are you married? Kids? Gone through divorce? Abuse? Survived and thrived?

Who would be interested?

xoxo

AAJ