forget Partying at the Oscars, we're all about: PARTY AT THE POTTY

Our first attempt at potty training at 19mo did not go over well.

Our first attempt at potty training at 19mo did not go over well.

PARTY AT THE POTTY

If you follow me on social media, you know I’m in the middle of potty training Hayden. 

Hayden’s pediatrician believes we need to work on weaning diapers before I try to wean the thumb sucking (that’s a polarizing topic for another day). I thought there was a good chance I’d be working on set on a show this week, so when that didn’t pan out, I had a few free days. Hayden seemed to understand what I was talking to him about (I know, he’s TWO, but he really did seem to get it). So one full day we discussed it, then off went the diapers the next day.

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I must say I was dreading potty training, but maybe since I expected the worst, it’s not as bad? I tell you one thing- I’m over diapers!! For all you parents out there about to start the process, I feel for you, but just go for it IF YOU FEEL your child is ready. I tried potty training Hayden at 19 mo. and he was NOT ready. His imagination came alive, creating many other uses for the potty other than the intended one (see photo above!). I’m weary to say much just yet because we are only on day 3. So, what I will discuss is preparation

Here goes:

I did nearly nothing. Ha! We read some books on the topic at night on and off recently. Not books for me, books with stick figures that talk about walking to the potty and sitting down on the potty, etc. I talked to my friend Willa Ford @wfordinteriors that went through this process before me and she recommended some products that I highly suggest using! So, I spent about 5 minutes amazoning the below. I’ll link them. I bought them all!

I’m grateful Willa gave me her list! I would have NEVER thought of the “piddle pad” for the car seat until it was too late and been super frustrated trying to clean it! Trips anywhere we don’t want to carry a potty with us, these portable silicone fold up seat covers with liners are genius. My biggest thing is not letting Hayden touch anything. This basic POTTY book really helps them understand what is happening. And I ordered the padded undies because they will catch the initial dribbles! The thin one that come in packs of 10 will NOT do that. And finally, I’m keeping the travel potty in the car. I have one at home that is simple, but this one had a COVER LID if we need to hold off on dumping for a moment.

Potty training must be one of those things that is hard to recall once it’s all over and time has passed. I met Huck when he was about Hayden’s age. We went through potty training together. I helped implement “no more diapers.” We used pull ups for a short period at night, then big boy underwear. I remember moments of the process, having to rush home after accidents, Huck holding my neck as he pooped in the potty for the first time telling me he was scared. But, over all, I don’t remember that much. Is it human nature to selectively forget the hard parts or we would never want to do it again?? I can’t imagine that time was a super easy process for any of us, especially Huck, because he was going back and forth between his mom and his dad. But, he adjusted, as kids do.

I know there are books on the subject that outline it all. I skimmed the jist of them on google and just went for it. Lemme tell you one thing I quickly noticed: there are two schools of thought.

1) Never put the diaper back on them again. Even for naps or nighttime.

2) Put the diaper on them for sleeping or traveling distances. 

I chose the latter.

For now, it’s all “party at the potty!” ha! We’re handing out little mini prizes and limiting the sweet treats as much as possible. Stay tuned for how it goes. Do you remember potty training your child? Or are you thinking about starting??

Please please share any ideas, tips and tricks. One of you (I don’t share names without asking first) shared Brandi Bruck’s Potty Training in 3 Days. I may order that book! Thanks for those of you that are so encouraging of this process!! #MYtribe is awesome.

xo

AJH


SINCE I POSTED THIS, OTHER ISSUES HAVE COME IN TO PLAY. CONSTIPATION WAS MY BIGGEST CONCERN.

UPDATE 2/24/19 10am

While many I know were at Oscar parties last night, we were home partying at the potty! I got concerned that Hayden had not pooped. Now, it’s been over 2 days. Who has dealt with potty training constipation? I’m googling and it can quickly turn into an alarming situation. I’m feeding him more foods that might help that issue right now. I’m reading I might need to give prune juice. He is peeing in the toilet every time, but clearly holding the poop for one reason or another. Is anyone else dealing with this or have you recently?

Also, I am so grateful and overwhelmed at everyone’s comments on DM, but I would rather us all share here where others can benefit from your wisdom. I know it’s frustrating to have to sign into squarespace before you leave a comment, but it’s pretty easy- give a name and an email. The email is not for my purposes, but squarespace security. (Honestly, you could probably make one up…not sure, but it is not connected to my website, so I will never know). We only see addresses if you voluntarily sign up for newsletters (which we are working on finally accomplishing!). All that to say—- PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT so others can benefit;)

I’ll be leaving updates here of anything that works for us. For those of you that are just now tuning in and are questioning potty training, the main thing I’ve learned so far is that YOU have to be more ready to do this than your child. It’s really TRAINING THE PARENTS.

UPDATE: 2/24/19 10pm

Ok, I got so preoccupied with stuff- sorry for the delay here. Thank for those of you checking on us! He ate a lot and had quite a few apple slices. Nothing was happening and it had been 2 days. I read a great deal online and got concerned. I didn’t want to develop contipation issues. At 4pm, I rubbed a bit of vaseline back there with Joel helping me hold Hayden (tiny bit, on the outside). He finally started pooping around 5pm (cried a tiny bit). I said he could poop anywhere he wanted - in a diaper, in his (padded) big boy undies or in the potty whenever he wanted to. He started to go in his undies, then I gently took him to his little potty. He finished there and was very excited to show daddy and flush it. He continued to go in the potty (pee) the rest of the night ( 2 more times). One of you mentioned that I should explain he is a big boy and he can come tell Mommy or Daddy when he needs to go to the bathroom. I tried that and it did work with pee, but I still reminded him he could go potty every hour. I put a diaper on him for bed tonight.

UPDATE: 2/25/19 10:16 pm

I’m so tired. This gets draining. I do believe this will help others, so that’s why this is so detailed.

I’ll start by saying he waited till 4pm to pee AT ALL today (even with a ton of food and water and milk in him). He just kept saying he didn’t need to potty. At nap time, I put a diaper on him and it was bone dry when he woke up. I’m less concerned today, but still went to the store to get some raisins and more apples. He ate them. Finally at 4pm, he went. He waited till 5p to poop. He started in his big boy pants, then I lured him over to the potty with the promise of a little toy car. He was so excited to flush it, he forgot about the toy. I brought it up anyway and praised him.

NOTE: I am SO happy with these slightly padded undies I wrote about below. I wasn’t sure if they would work, but he loves to put them on and feels very comfortable in them. If he starts to go, it doesn’t soak up like a diaper, so he is aware, but it also doesn’t leak immediately. We have 4 pairs (one pack). I got a 3T, which are perfect for him.



Hayden much more “relaxed” about the process now.

Hayden much more “relaxed” about the process now.

A DIFFERENT DIRECTION

It’s a dreary, cold day here in LA. I don’t feel like doing much. I’m a bit down mentally and physically. I’m congested and worn out. Probably the exact time I should force myself to go workout. We’ll see. I’m also in the midst of potty training. Lord, help me! lol.

Last Friday I mentioned on inststory I had an audition. Yesterday, I found out it was down to the wire. I was what we call “pinned” in the auditioning world. I’m not sure if I should say what show, but I don’t really see why not? For the sake of the show, I will wait and say what series later…It was for a recurring role on popular primetime show.  The character was very interesting and complicated. Truth be told, there aren’t that many roles right now for Caucasians my age. I should feel good that I got so close to getting it. But, alas, last night, I learned it went to the other woman. There’s lots of fun ways they tell you the role is not yours.
They “went another direction,” or “it didn’t go your way this time.”  Makes me want to make a change… what can I do to shake things up? Go back to my natural dark hair? Yep, this photo below is my natural color. (By now, a little grey has seeped in, though). Silly thing to change my hair, but maybe not? Maybe I should go in a different direction!

Side note for those of you that might ask, I would be so happy going back to your favorite daytime shows or working on Hallmark or continuing with Lifetime (next movie airs in May). So, thanks for your support in those endeavors.

darkerhairphoto/ashleyajones.com

The business side of our industry is depleting at times. I don’t like to call it rejection. There are so many puzzle pieces to making a project work, sometimes it really is not about me. So, I have to let go. I usually allow myself 20 minutes or so of being bummed, then I must move on and forget about it. I come home to my family, my reality… where we have plenty of other things to worry about.

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I know we all go through things like this in life where we are so close to the “next step,” or getting a new campaign or case or position at the company. And then it doesn’t happen. But we have to understand there’s a bigger picture. Sometimes it’s just so hard to see or even want to see. It just feels like failure. I wanna get mad at…. I don’t even know who really. 

Some of you have left comments here about current situations. Health issues, or job changes….or both. I truly cannot begin to imagine how frustrating, depleting and devastating some of those circumstances are. I am so encouraged by your strength and it puts things into perspective for me. Also, I appreciate this blog and communicating with y’all. Thanks for sharing with me, too.

One book in the bible that I like to read (and should read more) is Isaiah. If you are interested, here are two of my favorites that help me change my perspective and give my thoughts to God. Also, unanswered prayers are often protection. 

Isaiah 41: 10 Have no fear, for I am with you; do not be looking about in trouble, for I am your God; I will give you strength, yes, I will be your helper; yes, my true right hand will be your support.

Isaiah 40:28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 

Have a great day, y’all. Feel free to share in the comments!!

#Blowout Blues: the World of Poop

This post is thoughtfully brought to you by Triple Paste, but if you know me at all, you know these thoughts are all my own.  

I remember the first time it happened. As a brand new mom, I was warned (even by some of you!), but for sure wasn't prepared. Hayden was about two months old. We had taken him out on his first real all-family event to Travel Town. Clad in the cutest overall outfit with a conductor hat, he nailed the occasion, if I do say so myself.

I was just beginning to supplement breast milk with a tiny bit of formula and his little system was adjusting to it. I pick him up and cuddle him closely for a photo opp (and of course, I choose to wear all white- again, new mom! eye roll!!) when I  hear something awful. I slowly walk toward Joel to see if anything was running down my shirt....and sure enough, by the look on his face, I just knew. There was dark "mustard" all over the back of his overalls and his legs, a ridiculously large amount transferred to my shirt and my arm where I was holding him. Then, suddenly, the smell. My goodness, that smell! It just seemed to bake in the summer California sun. As overwhelming as it can be, poop happens to the best of us. We set up a makeshift station in the car and did our best to remedy the situation.

That's when I first realized Hayden had pretty sensitive skin, so I needed to be on top of potential diaper rashes. At one point, right before the one year mark, he was teething and got pretty bad diarrhea, which I learned can also cause diaper rashes. Even though I changed him immediately, at times, it would flare up anyway. It was upsetting hearing him cry when we changed him. The skin would get so irritated so quickly, I felt helpless. I was about to leave to shoot 12 DAYS OF GIVING in Nebraska and was worried about traveling with him with a rash. To heal it, we did frequent baths, naked-time, etc. We even used prescription (expensive, not covered by insurance) compound, medicated diaper cream every time I even barely suspected one creeping up. My good friends Bill and Scout Masterson-Horn (The "Guncles")  told me they would slather Triple Paste every change to prevent diaper rashes and I should save the money and try it. So, I did.

Cut to today... this is a staple in our changing kits. I can see potty training on the horizon, but we are not quite there. I'll rephrase that. Joel and I are not quite there. I know we need a good few days to a week to completely commit to the initial endeavor in order to be successful. But seriously, I don't think he's fully ready. It's just an ongoing conversation in the house. Boys love to discuss poop. I mean.... good grief!

Hayden does come announce when there will be a "diaper change" happening soon, that is, if Huck doesn’t beat him to it. And I have the emergency kit upstairs, downstairs and in the to-go bag. Hayden knows he wants Triple Paste because it makes it "not hurt." I catch him grabbing it even before I do sometimes. It's a juggling act-- a slight cat and mouse game now with him! Anyone near the little stinker (pun intended) can sense it's time to change him (especially Huck!), but he plays hard to get. Likes a good chase. He is not loving diaper changes right now, but lemme tell you, when he's rash free, it's so much easier.  I know it's nearing the time for potty training, but what I didn't know is that diaper rash paste will be entering that phase with us, too. Our doctor recommends putting a it on at night and in the morning, just to protect Hayden's sensitive skin.

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AshleyAJones.com
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So when Triple Paste wanted to do a collaboration, I was excited. If I could share my frustration with diaper rashes to help even one other mom out there going through it, that would be great. First of all, please know you didn't cause this! Let's get rid of the #momguilt. Obviously, change your little one as soon as possible every time, but occasionally that's not enough. What DOES HELP is prevention. All the time. Cover their area with Triple Paste and let me know if it helps;) And if you're in this diaper phase, share your own #BlowoutBlues stories with me. If you're way past it (congrats!), I bet you remember one or two big ones!!

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