the NEVER ENDING MARATHON

They say write about what you know… what you are going through. Hmmm. Divorce and quarantine. Exciting! The stuff we’re all going through is not easy. I want to be positive. Even talk about simple things that can bring us all joy. Or affordable fashion finds, lifestyle ideas, etc. And I will again. It’s just not where I am today. Or where our world is today.

But, we will get back there. SOON.

It’s like a never-ending marathon that I didn’t train for and had no idea was starting.

My girlfriend sent me that message about her experience with quarantine. And it hit me hard because that is my personal life right now, too. 

I couldn’t have explained it better. But you know what she DIDN’t say? She didn’t complain about muscle cramps or fatigue. (I’m exhausting this metaphor, but stay with me here). She didn’t talk about QUITTING and dropping out of the race. 

She talked about asking God for help.

Sometimes the simplest things hit me at the right time and resonate. 

Tomorrow is Hayden’s birthday. We are celebrating today. I want to soak up his last day of being three. Hope we all find the joy in today. I’m thinking of creating some sort of birthday tradition for him between just the two of us. Ideas?

My little man after a day at the beach. (In his UV protection suit).

Winter Solstice and US

Y’all… it’s been fun putting up some posts and getting your comments about holiday traditions, shopping and baking (more to come, too), but I want to address something on a serious note. Today seems like a good day because it’s Winter Solstice. Today is the shortest day of sunlight and longest night of darkness; a rebirth of the sun. After posting about going through a divorce, I received a lot of private DMs. I did get back to some of you, but comments kept coming. I thought I would write to each of you right here. 

First of all, I’m grateful you all are sharing. The holidays are so wonderfully chaotic for some, and for others can be brutally lonely and overwhelmingly emotional. I think what is the hardest for some of you (based on what I’m reading) is that this is not the holiday we THOUGHT we would have. The unmet expectations are translating as failure and disappointment in our minds. Although our feelings are valid, they are not always accurate. Feelings are not facts. 

This note is for those of you that told me you find yourselves suddenly single parents this holiday. Being a single parent is never how we imagined life, but here we are. And we will be okay. 

To the one that told me she didn’t know if she could survive this transition of divorce this Christmas, you will. I promise, you will. This season of heartache will pass. For all of us.

To the single mommies out there trying to scrape up money for Christmas, blessings to you.
Let’s not forget all our children really need is us. Our attention. Our love. 

To those of you that are suffering health wise or have loved ones not well, let’s pray for strength and healing. 

And to those of you that have opened up about missing loved ones, my heart aches for you. 

For those of you that were hoping so deeply to have a child of your own this holiday, I understand.

To all of you that told me you are in a relationship you know you need to leave immediately, yet feel you cannot, I understand that, too.

I don’t have the answers. I do pray and talk to God. I’ve had to shift my perspective. I was holding on to “what could have been.” It’s best to let that go. Grieve what could have been, then focus on “what is” and focus on the next step to being YOUR best self and being the best mommy/daddy.  What can WE do today to make tomorrow better? I wrote about how cathartic workouts are for me and encourage you all to find the time. I 110% believe that and know that, but I’ve let life get in the way recently and it’s hard to stay on schedule right now. Let’s all just be gentle with ourselves today. On the darkest night of the year, the lights will shine the brightest. Tomorrow, the sun will surely come up. And it will stay out longer giving us a sense of renewal and regeneration.

As the saying goes, scars have the power to remind us that our past is real. Whether your relationship or situation gave you physical scars or emotional scars or (like me) both, remember that those scars are landmarks in time. And you will one day look at those scars, as I will too, and see how they have faded. You will see how far you’ve come.

I know it’s not comfortable to comment publicly on instagram, so DM is easier. I’m brainstorming on how to connect all of us in a way that feels safe and supportive. I love this blog, but it’s not one location … there are different blog posts where people comment and it’s not possible to read all the comments as a community at once.

Find the joy in life today if you can. My little boy is playing in his room with his Nana and Papa. My heart is full. For those hurting today, consider yourself hugged and this bouquet of flowers is for you. You are not alone. We can turn our tragedy into treasure together.

SUPERWOMAN, SUPER SECURE

I feel like SUPERWOMAN… thank you to Lorex Technology for sponsoring the post today and allowing my DIY-superwoman abilities to come out. You guys… you can feel this vibe, too! I really try to bring you all ideas and products that I like and am personally using. When I work with brands, this often comes organically because I’m already a fan of the company and it gets communicated to them. Today is no different.

If you are a regular here to the blog, you know a few months ago, Hayden and I moved into a new home. Remember the boxes??!! UGHH. My highest priority was safety. Creating an emotionally and physically safe environment for my little man to flourish was imperative. Some of you have been reading between the lines and sending positive messages of support and strength. I feel so covered and know I’ve done my best so far to protect our space. I can be on guard, alert and aware to an extent, but in order for me to fully relax in our new space, I wanted security cameras. 

Were I am in my life as a newly single mother, security cameras are a household staple. Much like a tv or sound system or having Alexa has become accepted “necessities” in our homes, we should all have some level of safety and protection for our families.

I know I could have hired someone to come in and install a system, but what I’m learning after starting over on my own— I’m a whole lot more capable than I thought I was! With that said, I was still intimidated. I honestly looked and looked, then would just “save” items in my cart. I thought I needed to ask other people’s advice or just double check with “someone.” I wasn’t even sure if that person was my dad, or brother, or friends. I just wasn’t trusting myself, I guess.

I took it one step at a time. I made a list of what I wanted:

1. the ability to see real time on my phone remotely anywhere in the world

2. indoor/outdoor capabilities

3. completely wireless/no cables or plug ins

4. easy installation

5. no monthly subscription fees

6. HD recording

7. two way voice talk

8. affordable

Since this is not my forever home, I wanted to be able to easily take the cameras with me to the next location. If I’m investing in a system, I want it to be a cutting edge technology that won’t be outdated in a few years. I want the guarantee that these cameras will last. I encourage you to your own research. After scouring the internet and reading review after review, it became apparent you get what you pay for. People keep saying Lorex is worth the money. I decided to just do it- got the 1080p Wire Free Cameras, battery packed outdoor/indoor.

When it arrived, I didn’t think I could install it by myself. I was letting the parts intimidate me. I let my insecurities tell me I needed help from someone that was technical and “better at this stuff.”

But my inner superwoman came through louder reminding me the reviews said it was easy to install. Surely I could do it! RIGHT? I pulled out the instructions, got an electric drill and figured it out. I feel so accomplished!!

I want every person and family to feel protected - so I am writing this for ALL the people of the world, but I want to take a minute for you single ladies, mamas, and sisters out there. Protect your property, your family and yourself! You don’t need to wait on someone else to come and do all of this for you. Invest in yourself! Not just literally, but emotionally. Even if you don’t apply this to security cameras, apply to whatever issue du jour. If something intimidates you and you’re stalling because you think you need someone smarter or more technically advanced to do it or because it may require a drill. (Like I used to think). Let’s stop that thinking. 

You are CAPABLE. And so am I.

Have you been thinking about securing your home? Or vacation home? or just wanting a more permanent, reliable system? Right now, there’s an early Black Friday sale. 25% off site wide at Lorex. Seize the moment and make it happen. Every time I leave my home, I’m grateful I did. Do you already own cameras you trust?

xxoo

AAJ